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Lamb Of Gods Randy Blythe and his Burning Penis

Blythe the soaker

Blythe the soaker

Look every now and then its a good idea to throw out a post title that will stop you in your tracks.  The word penis is funny enough, ‘burning penis’ conjures up the image of odd bacteria and clinic trips.  Blythe, the man who just beat the insane Manslaughter charges in the Czech Republic proves he is not only in good spirits but a pretty open guy when he took to Instagram of all places to discuss willy mishap for all to read.

“The sun was setting & it was beautiful evening as I road along the coast to the grocery store, still in my surf trunks & sipping on a fresh mug of boiling hot black coffee. I was listening to some mellow piano music & making a right turn when I made the tragic mistake placing the mug between my barely covered legs.

“As I turned my truck, happily humming along to the mellow piano music on my stereo, suddenly there was a searing white hot explosion of agony in my crotch. The lid of my mug had come loose, and liquid caffeinated FIRE had covered my, well…it had covered my penis.

“I briefly lost control of my truck, swerving into the lane of oncoming traffic, barely missing another truck, before quickly pulling into a nearby parking lot to try & make some sense of this atrocity I had committed against myself. I felt like I was going to throw up for a good minute or two, then I regained control & started returning home to do what I knew what I had to do. I had to put him on ice. I do not normally talk to my penis, he does not have a nickname or anything like that, but if there ever was a time for encouraging words to my lifelong companion, it was now.”

He went on to say that the moment he got home he soaked the appendage in cool water.  So- moral of the story you may not want to drink out of Bythe glasses, don’t put coffee between your legs and most of all appreciate the incredible articulate and hilarious Blythe understanding he is in no way just a dumb ass metal head.

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