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Transformers: Age of Extinction reviewed

Lou Reed album comes to life

Lou Reed album comes to life

Oh, Transformers: Age of Extinction isn’t thaaaaaat, indeed if it was about an hour shorter it would be a pretty good B Movie, snappy action, sitcom comedy, an old timer action hero (Mark Wahlberg) and his hotter than July teenage daughter (Nicola Peltz) walk right out of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” as a loser inventor and his daughter struggle with eviction and poverty (Hollywood style, of course) before Cade Yeager (Cade? Is that a name? Cade???) brings home not just any Transformer but Optimus Prime -King of the Auto-Bots, on the run from rogue agents from the CIA.

Add in an Irish boyfriend and Frasier as the CIA agent, hiot the road and tie it up and we would have all lived happily after but noooooooo. There is the CIA and a billionaire scientist (slumming Stanley Tucci), two other types of transformers, the apocalypse, and more: just every time you turn round more plot and more plot and every time you think hey it must be the big bang finish, it isn’t, and after awhile it feels like some evil plot to terrorize the average American watcher into complete capitulation.

I am as happy as the next guy to go along with the Undertones old adage, it’s never too late to enjoy dumb entertainment. BUT , it has to be really entertaining and TAOE isn’t. It has the same problem as all the rest, the Transformers lack personality and are hard to root for or against, plus a brain dead script (for fucks sake, we want to see the start of the daughters romance, how they meet should have been the other thread of the plot),

Still, indeed the third battle they ahd me, and then it became just a long wait till they let us out. B movie, C movie.

Grade: C

 

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