As the last couple of weeks have proven, there is an epidemic of bad manners at rock concerts that needs to be addressed. People have forgotten how to act in public and the result is a steadily degraded concert going experience. I’ve been blaming the IPhone but Detroit News’s Susan Whitall compared it to the movie going experience and that suggests that perhaps it is more a case of the private and the public intermingling to such a degree through Home Theatre that people forget where they are.
So, here are some rules for concert gooers, use em and be loved by all…
1. SHUT UP. Look this isn’t a Church and nobody is asking for a vow of silence, and sometimes you need to speak for a couple of sentences, even a couple of minutes. I mean, don’t hold 20 minute conversations at the top of your lungs in the middle of the show.
2. IPhones – Sure take pictures or post to facebook, but don’t raise your Iphones up and block the view for the person behind.
3. Blocking Views -Indeed, there is a rule of thumb: don’t block other people’s views. If you’re on a date don’t stick your heads together so the person behind you can’t see a thing.
4. Don’t Be Clumsy – Nobody wants your beer down their back so keep it steadfast.
5. If you’re gonna take drugs don’t do it perpetually – smoke your joint and put it out, I don’t want a contact high.
6. Don’t block the aisles.
7. Don’t stand when everyone is sitting – Again, stop blocking,
8. Don’t sing along to every song from beginning to end – I didn’t pay $250 to listen to you, you jackass.
9. Don’t sit on my knee – I don’t care if you’re fat and I’m small, I bought my ticket to sit in my seat and I don’t want to share it with you, you fat fuck.
10. Don’t request “Freebird” – Or if you’re at a Ryan Adams concert, “Summer Of ’69”.
