MTV's VMA Awards 2014: Enough To Make A Cynic Puke Blood

Bey: TV Ready

Last year I was at Barclay Center for the VMAs, this year I caught the first ten minutes and caught up Monday morning so excuse me if this goes astray. But apparently I missed the year of the woman which is just about the definition of condescending but I can’t help but feel that was the underlying concept, I was surprised Hillary Clinton didn’t  take a bow.

what I saw live was Ariana Grande perform “Break Out”, Nicki Minaj perform “Anaconda” and Jesse J join em both for “Bang Bang”, the highlight of all three was waiting for Nicki’s boobies to fall out (she was clutching her top like nobodies business, but no, there would be no Miley moment), apparently a wardrobe mishap. Funny how those things happen, right?

Was it fun? A little too strenuous to be fun and Katy Perry getting best Best Video music division was enough for me to go back to “The Godfather Part II” even though this is the business I chose. So i went on to MTV.com and got everything a day later. And wasn’t crazy about Taylor and a chorus line of boys in tuxes, but no problems with Beyonces centerpiece 16 minute “Vanguard” medley. Maybe TV is her medium. Shots of Jay Z with poor wee Blue Ivy, who shouldn’t have been there though it’s not as though I particularly care one way or the other. I guess it is a case of answering all the divorce rumors whirling around them. Bey received the Michael jackson Vanguard award from Jigga, very moving though the cynic in me wants to puke blood.

Sam Smith played it cool, 5 Seconds Of Summer, a year and a half after I claimed they were one to watch, were one to watch. Miley won best video for “Wrecking Ball” and let a homeless man accept the award to help homeless people. A moment of silence for Ferguson, MO was the low point.

Winners? The only thing I feel strenuously about is Pharrell getting sht out, he deserved at least best Male Vide. Here  are the winners from the Felt Forum:

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX — “Fancy”
Beyoncé ft. Jay Z — “Drunk in Love”
Pharrell Williams — “Happy”
Sia — “Chandelier”
Miley Cyrus — “Wrecking Ball” — WINNER

BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO
Eminem — “Berzerk”
Drake ft. Majid Jordan — “Hold On (We’re Going Home)” — WINNER
Childish Gambino — “3005″
Kanye West — “Black Skinhead”
Wiz Khalifa — “We Dem Boyz”

BEST MALE VIDEO
Pharrell Williams — “Happy”
John Legend — “All of Me”
Ed Sheeran ft. Pharrell — “Sing” — WINNER
Sam Smith — “Stay with Me”
Eminem ft. Rihanna — “The Monster”

BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX — “Fancy”
Beyoncé — “Partition”
Lorde — “Royals”
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea — “Problem”
Katy Perry ft. Juicy J — “Dark Horse” — WINNER

BEST POP VIDEO
Pharrell Williams — “Happy”
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX — “Fancy”
Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz — “Talk Dirty”
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea — “Problem” — WINNER
Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc — “Wake Me Up”

BEST ROCK VIDEO
Imagine Dragons — “Demons”
Arctic Monkeys — “Do I Wanna Know”
The Black Keys — “Fever”
Lorde — “Royals” — WINNER
Linkin Park — “Until It’s Gone”

MTV ARTIST TO WATCH
Sam Smith — “Stay with Me”
5 Seconds of Summer –”She Looks So Perfect”
Charli XCX — “Boom Clap”
Schoolboy Q — “Man of the Year”
Fifth Harmony — “Miss Movin On” — WINNER

BEST LYRIC VIDEO
Katy Perry — “Birthday”
Demi Lovato — “Really Don’t Care”
Austin Mahone — “Mmm Yeah”
Ariana Grande — “Problem”
5 Seconds of Summer — “Don’t Stop” — WINNER

MTV CLUBLAND AWARD
DJ Snake & Lil Jon — “Turn Down for What”
Zedd ft. Hayley Williams — “Stay the Night” — WINNER
Calvin Harris — “Summer”
Martin Garrix — “Animal”
Disclosure — “Grab Her!”