Today me and my posse of girlies huffed it over to the nail salon for some proper manicures on a fine spring day. As we all parked our butts down to start the procedure I noticed a giant new flat screen TV hanging above the fish tank. I generally like to watch the fish cuz they seem pretty stoked sometime and its just sorta peeping tom-esque.
This morning though that television stole the fishes audience. On that high def screen that was twice the size of my car was Country Music Television- it was music video time! I do not live in the country. I do not like the country or country music so what went down for the next 45 minutes was a terror trial that I am proud to say I survived.
Toby Keith is a hat wearing hillbilly with a low voice and a paunch. I presume the hillbilly women think hes sexy but then again when your inbred your judgment becomes clouded.
I think the video for the song "I Love This Bar" is supposed to be funny. But then again the television show Hee Haw was supposed to be funny and some people enjoy redneck jokes and Larry the Cable Guy. Me? Not so much. This shit scares me- is this what the general population is in to these days?
I do understand why theres so much drinking, to dull the pain of the sound and the burning of the eyes. The story telling is cliche' and redundant and if you think this post is full of stereotypes, well that song out does it by a mile. Painting a picture of a neighborhood watering hole with all sorts of people including what may be a murderer- how funny. I will say there were two highlights, one when they threw a human at the band after time after time throwing bottles and at the very beginning a girl shoves a bottle between her boobs and back bends to drink it-that is mad skills and I will be trying that with a Poland Springs sparkling water until its perfected.
So lets round this up shall we? Toby Keith? Redneck Superman. "I Love This Bar", a good chuckle for the blue collar workin' folk while their biscuits and gravy are heating up in the microwave. This personifies all that makes me cringe.
Even the salon fish looked upset, poor things, stuck under that sound all day…