Folks, First off, a couple things are in order.
I usually use this column to discuss my art and to give a bit of a background on my musical subject. My previous article was on Roy Orbison and I tend to listen to the subjects’ music as I paint, to try to draw out a feeling for ideas or guidance or spirituality, if you will. As I was working on the Roy Orbison painting, I couldn’t help but break down in sobs because of how his songs just tore me up, I was equating his losses with my loss, my wife Misty died recently, and these feelings of emptiness and sorrow prompted me to reach out to Iman Lababedi, my boss of bosses, at rock nyc, and to just share with someone what I was going through.
I had to reach out to another human being just for guidance or something or some sort of assurance that I wasn’t going out of my mind! Iman sometimes comes off as gruff or abrupt in his columns, he is a no holds barred writer and tells the brutal truths, but this is not the Iman that I know. I have never even met the man (I am sure Bill Holdship considers this a blessing) in person but I feel as if I can call him one of my dearest friends. Iman told me that I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t break down. I thanked him for assuring me that I was normal but he assured me that I wasn’t normal so I got that going for me!
He also suggested I take a break from the regular music article and post some art that Misty inspired in me. Although I was wondering if people were getting tired of my remembrances of Misty, I decided that If it bothers you, pass on this read. I understand this, but maybe I can help others that are going through this or unfortunately, in the future, some of you may have to deal with this and I am here if I can help.
Well, this is what I am going through. It doesn’t go away. It never will. Death is a game changer. Death of a spouse changes one’s entire future, ones plans, ones goals; every waking minute is different these days. I see things in entirely different ways now. It doesn’t seem fair but at least I was blessed with the time and memories that we had together…and no one promises fair in this life. Misty is the reason I paint. She was and is my muse. When my parents passed away, she saw the grief that I went through and suggested a creative hobby. Thus, the painting. Now that she is gone, I totally know that she is watching and guiding and getting a kick out of the attention, people buying my art, the weekly article and interest in my development and even having an “agent” now to help me out with some things. The married peeps know what I am talking about…instead of “why don’t you take out the trash or help pick up the house” I hear “shouldn’t you use this color or that looks dumb!” in my head. RIP Misty Marie Huerta, you will always be with me in my mind and in my heart, forever.
The first painting is an early one that I did of Misty, Boris and Edie. Misty, I tried to capture her lovely great smile, Edie the gentle soul and Boris, the wise old soul that was very close to being human. I swear I think he lived before as a person. This is also one of my first using oil paint. Misty’s mom has this one in her house. It’s a sad thought that this was my entire family/world and now they are all gone.
The next one is Misty in Lite Brite. She didn’t like this one much. I thought it was cool!
The third one is based on a dream that I had about older spirits meeting new spirits after they pass and welcoming them to the new realm. The older spirit is brighter and bigger. I actually dreamt this before Misty passed away.
The last one was done after Misty passed away. I had it penciled out but made changes to it after Misty passed. She loved old signs and cut this one out of a newspaper for me. I made it Misty’s Lounge and put it next to her chaise lounge where she spent many an hour listening to music and enjoying the backyard and the animals. I have a couple others that are dedicated to her that I will skip any descriptions.
Thank you all for letting me ramble. I imagine Iman knew I needed to do this for catharsis. Next week I will be back to the regular article subject matter. Respects to all of you and I know it sounds like I am quoting Stephen Stills here but truly love the ones you are with…one never knows the future…gracias..
weaving a fairy tale for us to get lost in
Creem – America’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll Magazine, Reviewed Issue By Issue – July 1973 (Volume 5, Number 2)
“I don’t consider David (Bowie) to be even remotely big enough to be any competition.”
an old school New York feel
oedipal vulnerable and blue collar visceral
An emotional song with Miya’s acrobatic and vulnerable vocals
Creem – America’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll Magazine, Reviewed Issue By Issue – May 1973 (Volume 4, Number 12)
From Robert Johnson to the Ramones – what a life!
one of the great top tens of the 2020
will mark their return to the road in early February, 2023 with a string of to-be-announced US arena dates
enjoyable and soulful romp
another full day of music