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Morrissey The Rock Critic: A Job Offer

perfection on a page




















Dear Morrissey,
I realize you have not been feeling well lately.   For that I am very sorry.  I hope you rest well, eat well and try and not let people bother you too much (as difficult as that is- I feel ya bro). 

Have you seen my tattoo?  Me and this kid from your  neck of the woods Paddy Maguire both got new tatt’s with your mug on it.  He got yours on your birthday- I was gonna but I got too stoked and did it the week before.  At age 16, Paddy has more self control than I do at age 46.  He’s a good kid, look him up sometime.  He met Marr but longs to meet you- seriously dude, at least check out his hair, its proper ‘homage’ if ever.

The reason I am writing is that I stumbled across this article you did for Smash Hits mag back in the 80s and I got to thinkin’ have a bit of free time now.  How about hopping on board with us here at rocknyc?  From the way you reviewed the tunes on this listing you have the appropriate snark level and broad range of interest to really fit in with us.

Screw Amanda Palmer with her righteous ‘how to make an album’ nonsense.  The woman is dirt at the bottom of a hipsters tote bag- you belong with a keyboard and with us.  Seriously, think of the ruckus we can make if you joined us.  Do you like Bob Seger?  He’s the only one I’d worry about if I were you- his fans.. spooky to say the least.

Anyway.. think about it my contact info is pretty direct:

Any topic, any time and no filter- I swear.  You don’t even have to use proper grammar or spelling!

Oh and check us out on Twitter (and start using yours ok?.. its sad and blank and all official for nothing)

Paddy Maguire


PS: Thank you, for everything

For the rest of you magnify this photo- Morrissey’s reviews are brilliant

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