Let’s compare “Frozen” to “Mary Poppins”. “Frozen” is a retelling of “The Ice Queen” with a girl friendly
heroine and a story of true love that stands true love on its head. The animation is spectacular and
the plot very clever (I knew it was gonna have to do something with the two guys, but I was genuinely
surprised by what they did do”. A masterpiece, no, not by any means. Indeed, both “Beauty and the
Beast” and “The Lion King” are the equal or perhaps better.
But 50 years ago, Disney released “Mary Poppins”, debatably the greatest children’s movie of all time,
and Mary Poppins had a woman heroine who simply ruled the entire world. A strong armed, working
class, no nonsense woman.
So as far as role models are concerned, give the edge to movie.
And as far as the story itself, give the edge to Mary Poppins. There was no sequel either, even though
the children’s story it was based upon had plenty of sequels. So as a complete stand alone it stands
above just about everything Disney has ever done. Maybe it is not fair to hold “Frozen” to such a high
standard, it is a much better movie than “The Little Mermaid” for one, even “Robin Hood” and “The
Aristocats” if not “The Jungle Book”.
But every single one of those movies has something “Frozen” doesn’t –they have a great score. It is not
that “Frozen” is not as good as the Sherman brother’s classic scores –truly, who is? It is that it is not as
great as Tim Rice and Elton John. Much like U2’s songwriting, it misses the song for the bombast. The
most obvious example is “Let It Go”. A huge Celine Dion type power ballad, roaring on icecubes with
idina menzel –an undeniable talent at these sort of things, singing the hell out of thething. The problem
is the chorus, the “let it goes” go nowhere ; they aren’t tuneful and the bridges can only be screamed:
there is no melody to sing: all the song does is build upwards on and on. It feels like you are feeling
something but you aren’t. Compare it to a song I don’t much like, “The Circle Of Life” and the latter feels
important, it sounds better.
And that’s the best of them. “Do You Want To Build A Snowman” has children repeating that asinine
command over and over again to ever decreasing effect. Remember when they were singing “good luck
will rub off when you shake hands with me”. Does the sheer lack of cleverness –it is all exposition, not
irritate. The kid on the first verse makes my skin crawl. As a kid I’d sing along to the “Oliver” Soundtrack,
but at least the songs were great, at least “I’d Do Anything” did something.
There isn’t a good song here, “For The First Time In Forever” is as bad as its title –what is it trying to
say exactly? What is “forever” in that sentence? The jumbled syntax isn’t funny and has no hidden
meanings. And the song is a rewrite of “Let It Go”. “Love Is An Open Door” settles off on the big
numbers, except for the only remotely fun one in the entire movie, the mildly amusing “In The
Summer”.
I might not always much care for mainstream pop hits but on the other hand, I might. I am certainly not
surprised by them. But I am surprised by how these terrible songs can have entered the consciousness
of pre-teen America. On their worst day, One Direction are vastly superior. This is pop without musical
backboe, it makes stamina for song. I can’t hear a memorable turn of phrase or a memorable musical
hook in the entire thing.
I don’t hate the movie, it is second tier Disney but it isn’t terrible and it looks like a dream. The storyline
is funny and smart. But the music… oh my God, this soundtrack is for kids whose parents still listen to
Celine Dion. It is the lowest form of musical theater pop. It stinks.
