In the dead of winter I daydream about warmer climates and in the dog days of summer I wish it was Christmas. Contrary guy, right? Well, right now I wish it was warm and sunny and I was in Hawaii and a million miles away the nonstop stress of the advertising business, or, for that, rock and roll writing. Worrying about rock nyc and how to pull the damn website up by its bootstraps so it can stand on its own….
I want a different world. I want to be jet propelled from overseas back home to Hawaii and when the doors of the aircraft doors open: The rush of heat, clean white, open space heat, hitting me in the face to a beautiful local girl furious at catching me kissing the Stewardess… Ooooooh, I was always almost true to her.
The tedium and the pressure of work palls after decades of it, there has to be more somewhere in 1960 and I will be Chad and my problems? Join the family canning business, no Dad, I wanna go my own way, I wanna charter planes. Mommy Angela Lansbury doesn't understand and I am Chad, tall, handsome, back from the Army where I was stationed in West Berlin looking over the wall. That reality isn't my reality.
Not even the heavily anesthetized Elvis, not even he is real, it is all only make believe I want. I want to say, no, I don't wanna go home , I wanna have a clambake on the beach, kick up my heels and then finally fall in love. The freedom of youth and a life stretching out like virgin sands on a Hawaii islands with no clouds in sight, but just an infinite parade of warmth , love, friendship and music.. A musical comedy of desire and delivery and me as Chadwick. Am I native, will I become native, will life never end?
The problem with life is that while over there somewhere in 1960 a movie unspools like a summer holiday, over here it is a cold, dark never ending New York winter. Like Narnia at the start of "The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe" and the pressures never seem to end and all the effort can't move the needle. Shower, shave back to work but in my mind I am miles away… I am Chad again, always Chad, always on the beach, always the rush of never ending youth and the clearest of minds and life is always in place a static dream of film going round and round as I get crammed into subways and scream in meetings, and negotiate and fight and the decay of life spent in business in the world like a river flows slowly to the sea…
In the Pacific Ocean, never coming back here again.