I got it, I got it, there is a new Destiny’s Child’s song out there, it was all what everyone was talking about when I came back from work and checked the internet! I guess it is a big deal since these girls haven’t released anything together in 8 years, but it sounds so calculated, so I-want-to-suck-the-rest-of-your-money that it is difficult to believe Beyoncé Knowles,Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams genuinely wanted to record again together. With the upcoming release of a retrospective set of the girl group, ‘Love Songs’, and the recent announcement by Beyonce that Destiny’s Child will be performing during her Super Bowl halftime show, it was some excellent timing if there was one.
But what about the song, entitled ‘Nuclear’, produced by Pharrell Williams and cowritten by Michelle Williams? I suppose I am the wrong person to comment on a 90s R&B song as I have never enjoyed the genre, but the tune is a total bore…okay there are these synth swirls, these old-fashioned groovy dance beats, these layered-angelic vocal harmonies but the whole thing is rather soporific and very forgettable, it doesn’t even have a good ending and it sounds like any song you hear while shopping for teenager clothes in a mall, or like an homage to the 90s club scene. Honestly this soft empty platitude for a comeback? How are they going to energize the crowds with this? Oh I know they will probably compensate with golden high heels, cleavages the depth of a canyon and bootylicious galore but still!
And one last thing, the lyrics are just an inch above the booty for once: ’We're just getting better/ When the two become one, on a quantum level/ It's nuclear, with you here / There's nowhere left to run / It's nuclear with you here / We both heat up.’ I’m almost impressed, but nobody, except physicists, should ever mention quantum physics.