January, February, we are getting closer to Valentine’s day, and if I couldn’t care less for this forced-consumption day supposedly inspired by love, many people fall for it and invest a lot of money in that special dinner with their significant other. So what could be better than a Kim and Kanye-themed Valentine’s Day menu? Because they are the perfect couple, right? The quintessence of a loving relationship with glam on bars, media over-exposure, money, and plenty of it for Yeezus’ sake!
So Brucie restaurant, located in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn NY, will be serving a 5-course Kimye-themed menu advertised as:’ KIM REJOICES AS BROOKLYN RESTAURANT DEDICATES VALENTINE’S DAY MENU TO THE SEXY STAR AND HER BAD BOY RAPPER HUBBY!!!!’
There are actually two menus, a Kim menu with some karrot terrine, stuffed kalimari, sticky rice balls, mak ‘n’ kheese, khicken fried rump roast and karrot kake, so basically carrots ad nauseam and a very-contrived use of the letter k, and a Kanye menu with ‘a good life’ amuse bouche with brioche, oyster and caviar, ‘a gold digger’ made of saffron aioli, beets and gold leaf, a ‘all foie’s down’— a bon mot but I deeply deplore the use of foie gras –and of course all this will be followed by a ‘my beautiful dark twisted fantasy’ (duck confit with squid ink,… yuck!), ‘a bound 2’, pork roulade bourguigon (just celery some puree), ending with ‘Imma let you finish’ a pernod (French for anise) yeezecake with Chantilly… that’s a lot of food, but if you prefer you can share an entrée for two, ‘The North West’, which is some salmon en croute…. You can check all the details of the $100 menu on Brucie’s website, which may be Italian, but sounds awfully French to me, something totally expected as Kanye West spends a lot of time in Paris anyway… But what? No croissant, no Dom Perignon and Filet migon? A total missed opportunity if you want my opinion. I also would have switched the cake by a Klondike bar (check it out, Kanye loves that word because of the easy rhyme) and the Chantilly by the Cool Whip… but there are so many food items in Kanye’s lyrics that they could go on all year long.
Last year Brucie had a Beyonce-themed menu for the same occasion so this is just the logical continuation of what could be an ongoing theme. ‘I was thinking, what could ever top Beyonce?” declared Brucie chef and owner Zahra Tangorra. ‘We said, let’s do Kim Karsdahian and break the restaurant’. Of course, the menus will be designed like old tabloid magazine covers, and I wonder whether Kim K’s giant Krispy-Kreme-shaped derriere could fit somewhere in all this.