1 – Santa Bring My Baby (Back To Me) – Elvis Presley – One of the all time greatest, this is Presley as popstar, it is like “You’re Right, I’m Left, She’s Gone” or “Teddy Bear” –a delirious hook filled hubba which channels Bing Crosby’s “bababba” going away – A+
2 – My First Xmas (As A Woman) – The vandals – Could anybody find more pure pleasure in gender displacement that these classic punk pop rockers with a tongue firmly in their cheek – B
3 – A Christmas Duel – Cyndi Lauper And The Hives – Cyndi gets the best of it:
I bought no tree this year
And I slept with your brother
I wrecked your Daddy’s car
And went down on your Mother.
I set your record collection on fire
And said I never knew
Felt kind of bad about that
And I know you did too
Grade: B
4 – This Mornin’ I Was Born Again – Ray Wylie Hubbard – Has being born again ever been worse? – B
5 – Must Be Santa – Bob Dylan – Bobby sings a polka like he is rolling over you like a rolling train –A
6 – Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney – What a ding dong… still with the passing of decades, it now has a a sort of easiness and simplicity that is forgivable and even fun. Yes, it is so saccharine it could kill a mouse at a 100 paces yet… B
7 – There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays – Perry Como – I dated this girl from around 2002 to 2005 and she would sing this to me every Christmas. I didn’t know it at all and still prefer her off pitch joyfulness to Como’s croon – A+
8 – I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas – Dent May – Needs to be a whole lot cleverer to signify anything beyond a cutesy idea – B-
9 – Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Slow! – Dean Martin – He sings with a chuckle lodged in his throart ergo, with a great good natured – A-
10 – Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley – All come hither and sexy hip churning – A
