With U2 And Coldplay On A Break, Who To Tease Mercilessly?

U2 have been off the road for a coupla years now and Coldplay played their last concert on New Year's Eve and have packed up their bags and gone home to friends and family. It is lonely out here. A thought that comes to mind after reading this tidbit: "U2 frontman Bono will give a televised address to the people of his native Ireland on St Patrick's Day (17Mar13)"

There is nobody like Bono. Nobody. This is the funniest thing I've heard in my life. The putz is addressing the nation? What a rabid egotistical nitwit. What am I going to do without him or Chris Martin to mock? It won't be easy. Who can replace them?

1. Bruce Springsteen -yeah, but he is too boring and once you've said he doesn't pay taxes on his farm and plays too long, wadja got?

2. Sir Paul, the Stones – Really anybody over 65 years old is too too old to be the butt of rock nyc's best jokes..

3. Muse – They have the nose and the actress girlfriends but they aren't big enough.

4. Foo Fighters – AKA Dave Grohl – He isn't important enough.

5. Jay-Z – I want a band so I can flip between a person and a band. Makes it less cruel.

6. Taylor Swift – Same thing, plus I'm a fan

7. Justin Bieber – Too young

8. Skrillex – Too ephemeral plus dubstep is deader than Elvis.

9. James Dolan – So easy to hate but not really a musician.

10. I'm stuck for somebody to replace these two guys till they release their next albums… any suggestions?