If one more person comes up to me today and says “get a life, Lababedi”, I’m gonna play the new Dawes album on their ass till they beg for forgiveness. I wanted a life and I got a life and heavy knows I was miserable, so instead of spending my life getting it, I shall spend my life doing completely ridiculous wastes of time like this: imagining what the days of the week would be if they were rock stars. After that? Months of the year!…
Monday – Bruce Springsteen – Yeah, he wakes up every morning and goes to work all day and Monday is the working persons day, it where it all begins for us. For years, Bruce had only three subjects, and Monday’s working from pay check to pay check, was his most important.
Tuesday – Ke$ha – Tuesday, because of the release of new music, and because, you are in the work mode now without feeling overwhelmed by it, yet realizing deep in the back of your brain that it is all just the same regurgitated pap, is Ke$ha personified. She looked new and different but she wasn’t and once Dr. Luke lost interest it was over.
Wednesday – Not only is Wednesday hump day but it is also the one day completely devoid of personality and character… and when you are discussing humps devoid of personality and character your mind naturally drifts towards Dave Grohl.
Thursday – Two things about Throwback Thursday 1-it is a nostalgia day and 2- people start going out again because they can suffer with a one day hangover before the weekend. People love Thursday… so nostalgia and much loved? Paul McCartney
Friday -is the crown jewel of the week, work slows down by a heartbeat as people ready themselves to party all night long and the party is the payoff. It’s where dreams come true. If you don’t love Friday’s you are in the minority. everybody loves Fridays… Just like everybody loves Taylor Swift.
Saturday – Saturdays try too hard. By the time you wake up it’s half over and then you have to out do Friday with a crushing hangover and an achy body. Plus, the end of the weekend is in your review mirror, Bruce is waiting to send you back to the “Factory” life. You try to have fun but it just aint happening, Saturdays are just like Miley Cyrus, the Paris Hilton of the ’10s.
Sunday – Guilt day for not having a religious bone in your body and not worshipping anything but football in the winter. This is the day you should be helping your fellow man and visiting the religious institute of your choice and what are you doing? Watching “For A Few Dollars More” and ignoring the lovely weather in the hope it will go away. Sundays are a sanctimonious, guilt making, day of worship and giving… not. unlike when Bono tells us to open our wallets after charging us $150 for nosebleed seats.