The Adventures of Fat Axl: Perth Australia

Let us all pause to admit that Axl Rose is really creepy looking.  That sexy beast serpentine dancing ‘welcome to the jungle’ caller is a big bloated mess worse than Elvis Presley himself.

His horrible lack of professionalism has crowds of 40 something’s waiting around for hours for his disgusting bobbling self to saunter on stage- for what? For an obnoxious egotistical hot mess at $89.50 a ticket.

Yet, my peers travel like drones to the alter of Guns N Roses..sporting back patches and bald spots with belly’s flopping over their 501’s. For one night they can be 17 again, if only the booze flows heavily enough.  

So what’s the latest drama?

Lets zip to Perth Australia where Axl whips the wireless microphone into the crowd knocking out a guys teeth. Nice one! One Darren Wright took it in the chops and now, it’s time for the law teams to get their groove on.

"With the bright lights and explosions, I couldn't see anything," he said. "The next thing I knew, I was whacked in the mouth. I thought I had been punched. I was quite stunned and it took a few seconds to realize what was going on. I could feel bits of teeth in my mouth.

Then someone is climbing through my legs to grab the microphone."

Wright said he had engaged Perth law firm Hammond Legal to start legal proceedings against the Guns N' Roses lead singer for damages. "I don't think he intended to do it, but it came at me at a fairly flat and hard trajectory. Those cordless microphones are not light. I'm surprised it didn't do more damage," he said. "At the very least, I want someone to pay to get my teeth fixed." 

Seems legit.  Pay my dentist bill you dumbass.  But hey.. instead, tour promoter Andrew McManus left a message on his mobile telephone apologizing for the incident and offering to give him a microphone signed by Rose.

Are you kidding me?  “dude we just knocked out your teeth, here’s what did it! You can put it on your mantel” 

Said Wright, "In reality I don't think the microphone is going to fix my teeth or pay for the dentist," he said. "I'm a father of four on a single income doing it hard in Perth." Wright said a dentist told him he would have to have months of dental work costing at least $5000.” 

Cut the guy a check for $5000. You idiot, you’d think after all this time you’d get over your dick wagging and realize throwing electronics into the crowd doesn’t do a thing for your ‘bad boy of rock and roll’ delusional ego.  Just makes you look like a bigger knob.