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Ten Versions Of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" Reviewed

1.  Darlene Love – The first and still the one to beat because of Darlene's deranged, out of control, ending. There is something very moving about adding heartbreak to holiday and Darlene gets it all. Grade: A+

2. U2 – The cover to beat. People think I hate U2 and maybe I do but just because I dismiss their last ten years doesn't mean I dismiss everything they've done. They are like an ex-wife, you can't stand to hear her name today but that doesn't change (though it might be ruined by foreshadowing), your wedding day. This is our wedding day.Grade:A

3. Reina – Speaking of exes, an ex turned me on to Reina and paved the way for my current dance obsession. Have you heard her "Sexual"? Nobody does shallowness with more depth. Grade: A-

4. Michael Buble – Too orchestrated but he has the tone on the edge of his voice… a nice try.Grade: B

5. Cherie And Rosie O'Donnel – Cher sounds like a man and the beats are overdone. Somebody shoulda given them Reina's version. "They're singing deck the halls…" if you can call this singing Grade: F

6. Jars Of Clay – You would think a buncha born agains would show a little restraint but no, here comes the banjo… Grade: C-

7. Bon Jovi – "Cmon baby let's drop it…" There should be a law… Grade: D+

8. Hanson – Finally, a boy band gets it right. "ooooh, yeah, look at you baby…" A little too hard but not bad. Grade: B

9.Joey Ramone – My man puts down the dreidel and man does he sing it well. Great sax break, I bet Ronnie Spector influenced him. Grade: A

10. Dion – It's the Bronx bomber… I saw him blow Dylan off stage once! Great take. Grade: A

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