I have a friend who says I react to Elvis Costello like a spurned lover and maybe she’s right. The first time I saw Costello in concert was the day before This Year’s Model was released and from there till Punch the Clock, he didn’t record one song i didn’t think was the best thing I’d ever heard. in the middle of the Lebanese civil war I spent my last penny on Armed Forces.
Indeed, I love his early work so much I can’t stand his consistently bad 21st century output.
Here is ten reasons Elvis Costello sucks.
1. A writer in Slate made the first two points I’m gonna share. Costello stopped writing songs and started composing them.
2. And he is so bad his concerts have evolved into crap nobody wants to hear from the latest product he is pushing plus hits written 35 years ago.
3. As a youngster, he wrote complicated lyric with simple melodies. Today he has reversed it.
4. Costello is so fucking fussy, everything is not simply arranged, it is arranged to death. He is the best writer of rock songs witha great lyric. And everything else is various degrees of off base. And the further off he goes, the worse he is till he is writing operas.
5. One of the most exciting live acts ever is now a crushing bore.
6. He is a sycophant sucking up to Bruce and Elton and Bono.
7. There is no love for audience here, all there is is a love for his peers.
8. He boycotted Israel.
9. The greatest wit in the world hasn’t shown any in years.
10. He destroyed Diana Krall by making her as painfully self-aware as he is. My God, he is Yoko Ono.
In 2015, CBS’s excellent Sunday morning show (“Sunday Morning”, I believe it’s called) had a feature on him.
“Elvis Costello” was a name given to him by the record label people – it was not one he chose.
I was never moved by his music, his vocals, or anything about his art. I am maybe being biased here, having never listened to an Elvis Costello album. I have no deep curiosity to do so, though.
I think the criticisms in this column might be unfair, as they always are in “Why [band name or artiste of some type] Sucks” lists. He writes what he wants to. Perhaps someone else does enjoy the complex music and simple lyrics. He is damned either way, I guess.
Often music is, for an individual, about being at the right place at the right time – you might hear a song hours after a romantic breakup, or in a period of grieving for the death of family, or in a very happy time – and that imprint stays with you forever. I never been in a situation like that with Elvis Costello music as a backdrop, hence my lack of curiosity about him.
On its own, however, his songs that I do hear do not grab me in the slightest.
That is the most thoughtful comment I’ve ever seen, and not just thoughtful, but a more interesting read than the column itself.
Personally, I’d rather drop a live lobster into my underwear than listen to anything by this shitty dork, but I really like how Jay says that better than me.
What’s wrong with boycotting Israel?
“What’s wrong with boycotting Israel?”
I’ll answer. Israel is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.
All of the other countries in the region are ruled by ignorant backward savages
hell bent on spreading their misogynistic homophobic religion. Women are free to do anything, even become
the head of state. There are actually gay bars in Israel. The rest of the countries in the area imprison or murder gays.
That’s why it’s wrong to boycott Israel. This is just one of many reasons that Elvis Costello is a cunt.
All those things you mention they do in countries other than Israel are great. Kill all the fags, make women obey is all great stuff. It’s exactly what’s wrong with the west.
Name me one artist who has lasted 20-30-40 years with the same quality. First five EC albums, holy fucking shit! Everything after except “King Of America,” dreary, overblown, “more lyrics equal better music” and that awful, awful Elvis-vibrato that’s the same, same, same, album after album after album. Saw him live a few months ago and poor guy is now fat and old and no voice left and…doing it for the money, I guess?
elvis costello is worthless, he should be the moron shoveling ditches or driving a school bus, he is a terrible terrible creator of absolute shit, just hearing his name makes me want to empty my guts…his whole personification is like a wedge of shit your always having to trip over , but cannot remove from your surroundings..there is nothing about him that makes any sense , he does not belong and the people that prop him up are retards…
amen, you really nailed it, he is absolute shite, would love to throw his fat ass in a real mosh pit and watch his glasses get broke along with his face..dude is a real determent
Elvis rules fuck you!!!!
Elvis Costello voice sucked ,so I never listened to him . He really looks like the biggest douchebag on the planet too!
I saw Declan last night in Providence, I don’t know why. I’m not really a fan but what the hell? I liked his singing and his songs well enough but the sound was TERRIBLE for the first 2/3ds of the show. Why do sound guys think they have to make the bass drum huge and fat and drown out everything else? The rest becomes mud. I asked strangers who were sitting in other parts of the theater how the sound was, they all said the same thing. I walked out of an Ian Anderson show because his voice is finished. I would have left this one but I had three nice people with me.
He is the boring man’s Joe Jackson
He turned to shut the day Rolling Stone gave him a positive review.
He sucks for boycotting an apartheid state? Boycotting Israel is the humane move. The Israeli government does not represent good, decent, empathic Jewish people.
Some #MeToo bitches should Tramp the Dirt Down on his bloated, pasty ass, the no-talent puke!
he boycotted Israel? damn, let me buy all his stuff immediately
wtf guys, these comments are literally so rude, come at me or whatever I don’t give a shit but remember he’s an actual guy with an actual life that has a bigger career than you guys will ever have. His stuff is great and your big words try to compensate for your small cocks