Beacon Theatre: I don’t see how renovating the place so it looks like a French brothel helps matter. The sound didn’t need a thing. And prices went flying up when the Dolan’s took it over. Still, one of the best rooms in the city and the acoustics are still the best in town since CNGB’s closed. Grade: A-
Blender Theatre: A little cruffier than need be but nice seats up a coupla stairs and a good floor. Drinks are somewhat cheap. Grade: A-
Bowery Ballroom: It’s sorta like CBGB’s mixed with Mudd Club and not bad at although it lacks much personality. You can’t imagine it being ground zero for any music movement. Grade: B+
Carnegie Hall: Practise, practise, practise. I hate the seats here but the sound is impecabble. Grade: A-
Filmore East: It’ll always be Irving Plaza to me. Pleasant but nondescrepit. Around for decades under one name or the other. They put the time each band is performing outside the club so if you wanna you can just go for the headliners. Grade: B
Giants Stadium: They can’t bring the wrecking balls in fast enough for this concrete hellhole. I’ll stomach it for a Giants or Jets playoff game but unless you’re name ends with an “S” don’t even think of playing there. The sound bounces off the wall into the air and dies and if you have an upper tier all you cann see is tiny ants miles away. Grade: D+
Hammerstein Ballroom: Pass on the floor but both balconies have GA seating (get there early) and though not comfortable are great places to watch from just because they’re close and unobstructed. Grade: B+
Highline Ballroom: Absolutely awful when the place is packed. Because of dinner seating there is no way to stand in the balcony and you are shunted to the sides on the floor. I saw the Wainwrights here and while I didn’t think much of the set I would have preferred it if I coulda seen anything. Meanwhile, a coupla months prior I saw Lady Sovereign at the same venue and the place wasn’t 2/3rds full and I thoroughly enjoyed the place. Two words of warning: the drinks are pricey and when it says it starts at 8pm, it means 8pm. Grade: B
Hiro Ballroom: If there is a band you want to see playing here or somewhere else go here. One of the best clubs in the city. Great sitelines. At the back of the floor you can see perfectly. Great bar. If you wanna get up close, you can have your favorite star sweat on you. Grade: A
Joe’s Pub: Since the passing of the late great Bottom Line, the standard bearer for live performance clubs in NYC. Tiny club (500 capacity it looks like) with nothing but sitelines. Food is kinda pricey but drinks are strong. Grade: A
Jones Beach Theatre: Terrible to get to and no booze. BUT on a warm summer’s night there is nothing like it. Grade; B+
Izod Center: Izod exists so people can say about MSG, “At least it’s not the Izod Center”. A charmless edifice which is the exact visual equivalent of the Nets. Still, if you can get a seat on the side just above the floor the sitelines are excellent. Grade: C+
Madison Square Garden Arena: Has a bad rep. Big, heartless, acoustics suck, etc. But it is probably the best arena, a 20,000 seater, in the country. They get all “A” listers. Maroon 5’s Adam Levine practically swooned when he played there a coupla years. I love the place, in the further seat isn’t that bad, and it’s five minutes from my job. And the Knicks (who will have Lebron next year) and the Rangers and St. John’s home court. Grade: A-
Madison Square Garden Theatre: This place still looks spritely and new but what were they thinking of with those seats in the center 100s? No arm rests, nowhere to put your coat… Nice, wide stage. Grade: B
Mercury Lounge: Bowery Ballroom’s little brother. Scruffier, smaller, scrappier. Great place to see all your fave Pitchfork bands. Grade: B+
Music Hall Of Williamsburg: The room itself is a little ambigious. Is it a vaudeville hall with the seats torn out? If you get there early, go to the side and there are some steps and you are just a bit above the floor with the best sitelines in Manhattan. It’s like being on stage without having to be nice to the band.
Nassau Coliseum: Exists so people can say about Izod Center “Hey, at least it’s not Nassau Coliseum”. I’ve seen High School gyms with better acoustics. The Islanders play here. Enough said? Grade: C-
Nokia Theatre: Everything Terminal 5 and Theatre at MSG isn’t, this is. State of the art, beautiful decor, 21st century room. Grade: B+
Radio City Music Hall: I saw Sinatra here. Marvin Gaye as well. And the Rockettes. And this was one renovation (ten years ago??) that worked fine. Best seats in the city. Grade: A-
Roseland Ballroom: There is a reason why it is called a Ballroom. That’s because it was a Ballroom -people danced there. My point being? The floor is level and if you’re short you can’t see a damn thing. Grade: C-
Santos Playhouse: This place is small, it’s in the middle of Chinatown so tough to reach and the drinks are very expensive but you CAN IMAGINE a music scene fomenting here. Grade: B+
Terminal 5: Why did they open a new clun without a single modern aminity? This place is diabolical, it’s like a punishment for the hard working punters who plunked down their hard earned gelt and are still in a fucking aircraft hangar. Everybody involved should be ashamed of themselves. Grade: D
Webster Hall: Four floor party central. It used to be the Ritz (I saw Prince there back in the day, and Cyndi Lauper). Nothing much but nice décor, great restrooms and easy to get lost in. Grade: B-
Westbeth Theatre: In the round. If you don’t drive (and I don’t) takes a a train and a cab to get there. It’s kinda worth it. Maybe a 1000 seater in the round. I saw Smokey and Chuck Berry there and it is as intimate as you could ever dram there. It’s Paul Anka’s East Coast room of preference. Grade: A-
I know: no Bell House, no cutting room, no Pianos, no Arlene Groceries -maybe I’ll get to them next year…
Comments are closed.