There is a confusion as we speak as o what the ratings in Rolling Stones review pages actually mean, I mean they seem to have little to do with the review, or the quality of the album, but appear out of the blue and leave the poor reader in a perpetual state of confusion. It is really, really sad that you can’t simply read the Grade and know. But there you go.
So here is a guide to what it all means and remember, the future lies not in our stars but in ourselves (which has nothing to do with anything of course)…
5 Stars – New releases by Springsteen, Stones, U2 and Dylan (these are ALWAYS complete nonsense). And exhaustive box set by first tier bands. That’s it, bud.
4 Stars – Sophomore albums by bands that hit it big with their first album but RS were behind the 8 ball and gave em a lousy 2 stars, so now, in an act of contrition, RS have gone on line, upgraded the old grades and over rated the latest albums in a vain attempt to pretend they’re cutting edge. Or mediocre to bad albums by friends of the family (like Heart, pictured above)
3 ½ Stars – Every mediocre star who has released a bland album but has been featured prominently gets this. It has nothing to do with quality, of which there is exceedingly little.
3 Stars – This is the province of electro pop, dance, techno, dub step. All the stuff they don’t really get but want to appear cool without being foolishs.
2 stars – Pop and country pop by people they don’t know
1 star – Metal Machine Music.