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"Rave On Buddy Holly" Reviewed

I don't see any way to deny it. As a character in "American graffiti" once noted: Rock and roll has been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died. And this atrocity is just another nail in the coffin.

This terrible, terrible act of reverance and revisionism is almost without a redeeming fault. Some stars of the 21st century, and a few from the 20th, come together to either get to close or move too far away from the originals.

Holly is a well covered fellow. Really, just about everybody from the beatles and the Stones to Marshall Crenshaw, and counting have had a shot at him.

But it takes a village of idiots to get it this wrong.

Here is a review of Rave On Buddy Holly. But if you don't know the originals (and you do, you can't really miss em) this is NOT THE PLACE TO START.

1. Dearest – The Black Keys – Overrated song to start with, the brothers get nothing on this clip clop drag. Grade: D+

2. Everyday – Fiona Apple and Jon Brion – As joyful as being run over my a bus, upped for not fucking up the melody. Grade: C

3. It's So Easy – Paul McCartney – His preposterous Wolfman Jack impression harkens back to Venus And Mars but to lesser effect. As rock and roll as, say, Grease, and the fake ending is embarrassing Since Macca is making all the royalties on this album, may I be the first to hope he chokes on it. Grade: F

4. Not fade Away – Florence And The Machines – You know how people say they heard voices telling them to do it before they went on a killing spree? This is the noise. Grade: F

5. (You're So Square) Baby, I Don't Care – Cee Lo Green – If Cee Lo had slowed it down to its normal speed and played it straight up Motown house band style, he might have killed it. Grade B-

6. Crying, Waiting, Hoping – Karen Elson – The former Mrs. Jack White performs a beautiful version, strings in the background. See, it's Buddy holly. It sings itself. Grade: B+

7. Rave On – Julian Casablanca's – Fuzzy guitar. Disembodied vocal. Grade: B

8. I'm Gonna Love You Too – Jenny O – Alyson was raving about this car the other day. Absolutely perfect: lovely vocal, straight up acoustic rock backing, and you rides out the wordplay with ease. Awesome. Grade: A

9. Maybe Baby – Justin Towne Earles – Two problems: 1) although Holly was from Lubbock, this could be texafied more. 2) Cheer the fuck up. Grade: B-

10. Oh Boy – She And Him – Folk music for people who don't like folk or music. Grade: D+

11. Changing All those Changes – Nick Lowe – Et tu, Nick? Pointless remake. Where's Dave Edmunds when you need him? Grade: B

12. Words Of Love – Patti Smith – Here is the dope on Patti Smith: Listen to all of Horses, a song here and there before her retirement, her back up singing on New Adventures In Hi Fi and "About A Boy" and IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE BECAUSE IT SUCKS. Grade: D+

13. True Love Ways – My Morning Jacket – Did you ever hear MMJ's version of "Tonight I'll be Staying Here With You"? A rowdy rebel rouser. This is a beautiful modulation on the deepest of feelings, and almost as good. Jim James is a great cover artist. Grade: A

14. That'll be The Day – Modest Mouse – Sounds just like Modest Mouse. Bad Modest Mouse, not the good stuff. Grade: D+

15. Well Alright – Kid Rock – There is no excuse for kid Rock to fuck this up. None at all. Shameful. Grade: F

16. Heartbeat – The Detroit Cobras – A little loud but not terrible. Grade: B

17. Peggy Sue – Lou Reed – This is the only Holly song I'm sick of, but not here. The guitar is just a blissful melodic noise, and reed's vocal keeps on landing on notes you aren't expecting. Grade: A+

18. Peggy Sue Got Married – John Joe – Like a reject from the Blasters in folk on mode L.A. style. Grade: B+

19. Raining In My Heart – Graham Nash – How can a guy whose first band was the Hollies be involved in this sickly sweet arrangement? Grade: C-

Comment: So 2, maybe 3, must buys and the rest should be shot at dawn. Grade: C-

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