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Noel Gallagher Gives His Opinion On Everyone In the Music Business And He is Hysterical!

What is a good interview? What do you ask when you interview a musician? You ask him/her about projects, future releases, touring, collaboration, and other music-related things right? But Rolling Stone magazine certainly knows how to make an interview juicy and gossipy when the right material is available. We don’t learn much about Noel Gallagher’s projects in this new interview, but boy is it hilarious! Actually I never miss reading a Gallagher interview, as the guy’s brutal honesty is legendary and has apparently no limits. The interviewer basically asked him about every successful music of this year, and the results are unequal but quite interesting.

First of all, he didn’t listen to many albums this year, but this doesn’t prevent him to judge him! Harshly! And he is so funny! He praises Bowie’s last album, ‘a fucking masterpiece’, and he likes Disclosure, Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ and Kanye West. Not that much his music ‘I don’t really like that kind of modern hip-hop, whatever you call it,’ but he likes the interviews, of course, ‘Especially the bit about the leather jogging pants or whatever he’s going on about, fucking claiming he invented them’. Gallagher should go over his disdain of modern hip-hop and these two guys should actually meet and do a duet! Kanye West would probably win in an inflated-ego contest but Gallagher would have the last word.

And it’s about it, almost everybody else in the music business is crap… here are a few examples:

‘Well, I’m not going to start naming names! We all know who they are. But “Valentine’s Day,” that song is just fucking outrageous.’ Does he even know that McCartney has released a new album since?

‘It’s like, “Write a good song. Don’t make a provocative video – write a good fucking song. That’ll serve you better, I think.” She was on TV recently, Miley Ray Cyrus, and it was just like, “What the fuck is all this about?” I don’t know. It’s a shame, because it puts all the other female artists back about fucking five years. Now, Adele and Emili Sande – that music, to me, is like music for fucking grannies, but at least it’s got some kind of credibility. It’s just embarrassing. Be good. Don’t be outrageous. Anybody can be outrageous! I could go to the Rolling Stone office and fucking shit on top of a boiled egg, right? And people would go, “Wow, fucking hell, that’s outrageous!” But is it any good? No, because, essentially, it’s just a shit on top of a boiled egg. That’s all it is. If I was to go to your office and play you a song that I’d just written that was amazing, that would be better, wouldn’t it?’

I like the imagery, which he uses again for Lady Gaga: ‘She’s another one. In fact, she’s probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.’

And you know what, he is right! But I kept the best for the end, of course he had to slam Arcade Fire, even though he hasn’t listened to their album!

‘I haven’t heard it. Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the Seventies, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album? How arrogant are these people to think that you’ve got an hour and a half to listen to a fucking record?’

Isn’t he hilarious? He also had an opinion about the famous mandatory dress code:

‘[Sighs] Well, what’s the point of that? Do you know what the point of that is? That is to take away from the shit disco that’s coming out of the speakers. Because everybody’s dressed as one of the Three Musketeers on acid. “What was the gig like?” “I don’t know, everyone was dressed as a teddy bear in the Seventies.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Ah, fuck knows, man, I have no idea. I was dressed as a flying saucer.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Fuck knows. I don’t know. Seen Cheech and Chong, there, though.” Not for me.’

Of course he swallows his tongue when the journalist tells him that Bowie sings backup on Arcade Fire’s new album! But, one thing is sure, you can’t accuse Noel Gallagher to be a brown nose.


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