Ha, the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, an American tradition which still matters for New Yorkers, I guess… if you are older than 13, I am not sure why you still care about balloons and floats but most people like that kind of stuff. However this year, there is a big scandal, Joan Jett, who was scheduled to perform on a float representing South Dakota, had to step down off the stupid float because she is a vegetarian! South Dakotan ranchers protested her appearance, declaring she is a big critic of their livestock production and an outspoken supporter of PETA.
But don’t worry, Joan will still perform at the parade, but she has decided to switch to another float as she explained to CNN:
‘I’ve decided to switch from South Dakota to another float because people’s political agendas were getting in the way of what should be a purely entertainment driven event. I will remain focused on entertaining the millions of people watching, who will be celebrating a great American tradition.’
A great American tradition which annually sees the slaughter of millions of turkeys Joan? But yes, nobody should spoil sacred traditions like this one. Meanwhile, Jodie Anderson of the South Dakota Cattlemen’s Association told a CNN associate station:
‘So, of course, when we learned that about Miss Jett, we were rightly concerned about her representing South Dakota and a state that is so heavily reliant on agriculture and livestock production to drive our economy’. Shouldn’t say awful factory farms instead? Because this is what they are, they want to give us this idea of idyllic agriculture and cows grazing in open fields, but fuck them, their mass-production concentration ghettos and antibiotic-raised cattle should never be associated with the words ranch or farm!
Joan Jett may have switched, but meanwhile the South Dakota float is looking for a replacement,… I propose Meat Puppets, the Flesh Eaters? or much better, Ted Nugent, that pig is perfect for the role.