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hel Does SNL (all alone) Elton John

 Elton John.

Really does this need an intro?  By far a legend the Rocket Man, Captain Fantastic, The guy with the crazy glasses and giant platform shoes. 

A huge glorious career filled with some of the greatest songs of all time.  What began so many years ago has had peaks and valleys.  Lots and lots of peaks and some of the most gorgeous songs in all of rock and roll and some rather deep horror valleys.


Elton has also sucked, the “I’m Still Standing” days made me want to trip him at the very least.  He’s not exactly the dance floor guy.  But epic masterpieces like Goodbye Yellowbrick Road or Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy there is no parallel for their greatness.


Tonight Sir Elton John joins the list of many musical genius to host and musical guest NBC’s Saturday Night Live.  Just as models feel they can be actresses the trend is musicians feel they can act.  There is no doubt in my mind that Elton has a sense of humor, what I question is why now and can you relay that to a late night crowd?


The monolog was an atrocity; I can’t understand how the ‘not losing baby weight’ ‘breast rejecting fathers and son’ humor can work.  Well, Elton enjoyed it as he snorted a laugh at his own lines.   Sad.  Motherhood is not suiting him well; he needs to get that baby out for a walk and some sunshine.  Nanny’s are fine but really it would do them both good.


I will say that it’s a damn good thing his glasses are strong cuz he read every damn word from the teleprompter and the random song outbursts were just making matters worse as if to remind us that he’s a musical genius and not just a shit actor. 

Elton you are not the out of the closet Benny Hill.  You’re not funny and even with Tom Hanks surprise visit (which to me was as awe inspiring as Arcade Fire at LCDs gig) flat is how it fell. 


His brief musical numbers with Leon Russell were lack luster and saved by the backup singers.  I won’t go in to Leon too much because even his stoic bearded sunglass hidden self had a better presence then Elton.  At least it wasn’t so strained and peppy.  Really now is this sobriety or ego inflation?  Trust me I went into this hoping to prove Iman wrong that the MSG show was a fluke but I clearly see now what he stated in his review.  Elton John is bloated on his own ego and like a junkie begging for more someone needs to tough love his ass and have him call it a day.  Intervention, we have your next client.


America you don’t have to say he was great because he is Elton John,   He’s a singer a pianist and not a comedian or actor and never has it been more clear. Did he try to be Bowie did he think that bit in The Who’s Tommy as the Pinball Wizard give him the required credentials?

Here’s the answer


Elton, we hear you tanked at MSG and that your actually still singing “Rocketman”, you just tanked on SNL.  It’s ok to retire, enjoy your family, rest on your laurels.  You can collect royalties and maybe get some fun activities in like walking across the room.


I’m going to remember the good days and pretend this never happened.

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