I don’t know if there is any equivalent to the horrendous laxiness, lainess, indolence and adolescence of a DJ faking a set. It is very easy to do. Just pretape it all. Hit a button. Pretend to be twiddling with nobs and there you are. Easily done but it is really bad news. It is Millie Vanilli bad, it is just shameful, people are paying to watch you sync together disparate sounds, beats, bass parts, and manipulate them live while you react to an audience reacting to you, pushing the excitement higher and higher and it is all a fake?
So the news that David Guetta got caught playing pre-recorded tapes instead of DJing live at a concert in Paris earlier this week would have been pretty horrendous but that was the story going the rounds. And really, after Sebantian Ingrosso got caught laying pretapes anything seemed possible.
Still, this story was too good to be true: David had a fear of watching people dance and so was using pretapes. that is, indeed, pretty hysterical but I still kind bought it. I only conntoned on when I reached the “golden locks” portion of the story, though the confirmed “bed wetter” should have done it!!
Here is the story I read off coco-fm… a straight faced classic spoof…
“At a recent show in Paris the pop star, David Guetta, was forced to flee the stage in embarrassment when at the start of his show he hit the play button on the wrong track.
Instead of hearing Guetta’s usual pop-house hits, fans were inadvertently treated to a personal self help CD that had been prescribed to Guetta for treatment of crippling chorophobia – the irrational fear of dancing.
Guetta took to Twitter to release the following statement: “To all my fans, I’m sorry that you had to find out that I have been pre-recording sets and not playing live.”
“Please understand that this is not due to lack of talent or laziness but because of this crippling phobia, for which I am seeking professional help, as was heard when I accidentally hit play on my coping CD.”
The EDM star claimed that the condition developed in childhood following a dancing accident at a school talent show which left the performer “acutely embarrassed” and a “confirmed bed wetter.”
The pop star went on to further say that ordinarily he doesn’t “even look at the crowd. I’ll just twiddle some knobs on the mixing desk thingy. When I do have to look up to the crowd I’ll close my eyes as if enjoying myself, or I’ll let my golden locks dangle in front of my eyes so I don’t see people dancing.”
“Ironically with no-one dancing it probably would have been one of my shows that I would have actually enjoyed.”
On a slightly more serious note, that people bought it is an indictment of the fakest entertainment form since Professional wrestling.