Now then, here is a story we have been waiting for eagerly over here at rock nyc: Beyonce’s rider! We hoped and prayed it would be on whole other levels of gratuitous self-indulgence and divaish slo-mo diselegance and while it has its moments, all in all I am a little disappointed. Let’s do some cut and pasting, shall we? This is off the Canadian website canoe.ca:
“• $900 worth of titanium drinking straws for her dressing rooms (used to drink a special alkaline water that’s served at exactly 21 degrees!)
• Everyone in the crew must be dressed in clothes made of 100% pure cotton (to prevent her from having an allergic reaction)
• The dressing room must be painted off-white
• Every toilet seat (in each venue) must be brand new
• Bathrooms are stocked only with red toilet paper (no joke)
• A hand-carved ice-ball (to cool her throat after performances)
• Glass platters of almonds, oatcakes and green-only crudités (no junk food allowed)
That’s it? Those are the highlights of her rider in a world where Katy Perry wants breakfast in her for her dancers and a no look at clause for all chauffeurs? This from the woman who cleared out an entire floor of a maternity ward to give birth to her daughter and then wouldn’t let fathers view their babies for a day in case they got in her way
It’s a sad day when a star the size of Beyonce isn’t requesting Mariachi Bands and rainbow colored ping pong balls.