So how is the state of the only art that matters?
It’s hard to assess, so many rock crits are bloggers like us and difficult to locate.
I’ll tell you one thing, the state of print rock criticism is terrible -much worse than twenty-five years ago when folks like Nick Kent and Ian Parsons and Lester bangs and Rick Johnson roamed the earth.
I would worry about burning bridges with this post but for some obscure reason I don’t think any of these guys will be asking me to play for pay any time soon. And even if they were…
Alternative Press
Helen Bach’s fave rock mag are neither alternative, nor press too hard, but have found themselves a pretty little niche inside the alt hard rock tent. The website is a snooze but the mag is pretty good.
LA Times
Ann Powers and Robert Hilburn and they are still playing Los Angeles to New York Times, New York.
New York Daily News
Jim Farber follows his muse wherever it leads him which means the Daily News always seems to be missing the plot because the plot line is whever Jim takes it. However, Farber is the best in the biz.
Newsday
Glenn Gamboa is an excellent rock critic, as is Rafer Guzman, but, much like the tab itself, they can’t decide whether they are LI local, national or worldwide and cover none of the above throughly.
New York
There is no scene or sound that they can’t turn into a “hot” or “not” byte. With all their resources they should be better.
New York Post
Aquilante sucks, they still haven’t really replaced Clive Barnes for classical, ballet, and American standards, and Mary Huhn rocks. Everyone is an irrelevance.
New York Times
Excellent at classical and jazz, OK at dance, meh at rock. Too heavy for the great low art form.
Pitchfork
If Blender went belly-up because they tried to be everything to everyone, at least they had a sense of humor. This insular in-side baseball, SXSFy, indie website cum print (I think there’s a print edition) kinda sucks. They’re OK on news and have a definite and somewhat definitive view of indie rock but they are a miserable buncha bed wetters and a complete bore from beginning to end. Helen Bach has more pure spirit of rock in her little finger.
Rolling Stone
Best celebrity profiles in the biz – Neil Strauss is a national treasure. And great pics. And breaks news from time to time. BUT OMG -RS is an embarrassment. On the online comments section one wag bet U2 won best new band of the year. Exactly. This boys own club for billionaire rock stars is a joke. Their review section is terrible. And they are untrustworthy.
Slate
Ugh!! Bedwetters anonymous. That post where Ann Powers and a coupla other writers were discussing the year in music had me throwing up in my mouth.
Spin
Never really got it right after Guccionni Junior sold the magazine. It’s not that they’re exactly bad (though any magazine who’d lose Chuck Klosterman have a lot to answer for) it is that they are the embodiment of nondescript. They do whatever everyone else does, sometimes they beat em to the punch, but you forget they wrote it.
Village Voice
How do you fire Robert Christgau as music editor? They haven’t come within a million miles of recovering from that mistake and the only reason to read their music pages is because of Rob Harvilla’s “Down In Front” which is better than the rest of the paper combined.
For the record there is only one great rock critic left in the States. She is thirteen and she writes for me.