Yup, I’ve seen the lot though haven’t read any of the “Twilight” series and if nothing else it is the wrong fantasy for the wrong guy. We all have our daydreams and when a movie franchise latches onto the right one they will makes lots and lots and lots of money. Potter, whatever else it wasn’t, was a fantasy of omnipotence dressed as teenage angst. First it orphans its protagonist and then he places him with evil step mothers and then it throws a spanner in the work with a layer of magic. It is Tom Brown’s Schooldays meets Cinderella meets the Sword In The Stone. As a public school kid myself, my kinda fantasy.
“Twilight” is a teen romance about the eternal nature of true love. Unlike its various teen vampire progreny, the secrets of the vampire world are minor compare to the secrets of virginity lost and adulthood gained.
Harry started light and ended heavy, Twilight starts heavy and becomes bloated: it is PMS as a movie, constantly irritated and nibbiling at your insides. And the soundtracks are just the same. Blame Alexandra Patsavkas, the American musical supervisor who has been involved in choose songs all century long. For “The O.C.” and “Grey’s Anatomy” and while she certainly has some cool to her, she got the Flaming Lips on Beverly Hills, 90210, I have never much cared for her soundtracks to the “Twilight” series.
I guess it is really not entirely her fault. The tone of the movies is such a lugubrious slog through blood and love, that anything but the most anemic music available would put the movies into shock. And so that is was we have gotten over the past four years. The first soundtrack, with Muse at the top, was the liveliest, the second with Death Cab For Cuties and Thom Yorke (and Bon Iver!) was the most cutting edge, and after those two they devolved to Metric and the Joy Formidable.
This the fifth, is the most miserable thing I’ve ever heard.
What is it about “Twilight” that brings out the worst in everyone? Nobody much cares for indie gloom chumps Passion Pit, but even if they did “Where I come from” is a high pitched whinge, Ellie isn’t up to much on “Bittersweet” –peoduced by Skrillex, but doesn't sound it, Green Day provide one of their biggest dogs to date and Feist… Reeve Carvey? Well, there seems to be no reason to belabor the point.
Grade: D+