Ellen Page is just terrible as a femme fatale in Woody Allen's howdy doody to Rome, "To Rome With Love". Playing an out of work actress who seduces Jesse Eisenberg in the Woody Allen, she fails him miserably. Femme Fatale? Maybe if she was starring opposite Greta Gerwig, who plays her best friend and Jesse's live in lover, some sparks might fly. Page is just no good with men. I don't know if she is gay or straight but she sure plays gay in this story where Jesse, ignoring advice from a spectral Alec Baldwin, has sex with and then is dumped by Ellen. Luckily, Greta doesn't have the slightest idea, and doesn't find out at any time at all, so ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS AT STAKE. This story is worse than a shaggy dog story it is shag story. Only Woody Allen, who directed it, could get away with this stuff. And, it is harmless and what the hell it is Allen.
The other three stories are equally shaggy and irrelevant. Everything seems to be waiting for a punchline. "To Rome with Love" is four intercut (but not slightly interlocking), Garry Marshall would at least tie em together at the end) stories with a theme of mentorship. Roberto Benigno (you remember, the one who went bonkers when he won the Oscar for best Actor) is mentored by his chauffeur when he suddenly becomes famous for no reason whatsoever. Till it ends just as suddenly. Woody Allen plays a retired Opera director who discovers his daughters son-in-law can sing great but only in the shower. And the fourth story has a newly wed couple, separated by happenstance, enjoy some infidility, the husband at the hands of sexual mentor Penelope Cruz.
Cruz has been better but is sexy and smart, Hope Davis is a joy and Woody gives himself some very funny lines, and Jesse makes a terrible young Woody stand in: a role he was born to play. Also, Woody does none of the women ever favors with his camera, tthis, the man who gave us Barbra Hershy in "Hannah And Her Sisters" doesn't get any one vaguely right.
And Ellen Page… ugh!
Musically, it is great fun. Some Verdi, "La Boheme", lotsa fun opera featuring a man in a portable shower playing at Teatro Brazilia (I Think!). The rest is Italia pop like "Volare"… though no "Arrivideci Roma"!
Movie: B
Music: B+