I went to see the Broadway musical”Rock Of Ages” again with my nephew, Samer. Samer is in his mid-30s and so of an age where the hair metal of the musical soundtrack means something to him. “I hated the 90s” he would claim to me. “They ruined the fun of metal.”
The first time I saw ROA I didn’t make it thru the first act but this time I was stuck with my handclapping, highly approving nephew, and watching him enjoy himself was the show to me.
My problem begins with the music. There are many people, maybe you are one of them, that can stomach “Wanted Dead Or Alive” or “Harden My Heart” or, quite possibly the worst song ever written , “We Built This City”. I am not one of them. Hair metal was a pop hybrid, they took Celine Dion and stuck her in bed with Sweet, then they slowed it down, made the guitar louder and called it rock. Occasionally, the songs worked pretty well. Guns N Roses, not represented here, was such a great band, they broke loose of the tags, but for the most part it was pretty rough going and this is worse. I can’t take Bon Jovi when Bon Jovi play Bon Jovi, I sure can’t take it when a buncha Broadway actors over sing it.
And over sing it and over sing it.
So, yeah the music sucks and the book is nearly as bad. It must take a huge leap in imagination to find a way to be nostalgic for Sunset Strip in the 1980s. Maybe the 60s, but, cmon, the 80s? The blah leading the bad.
It is the story of a rock star wanna be who falls in love with a girl at a rock and roll club where they work. Blah, blah, ridiculous plot about tearing down the club, blah blah blah Dee Dee Snider as the club owner. So on and so forth.
Two and a half interminable hours later they all live happily (well except for Dee who dies) ever after but not me. Because some over officious usher made me delete my pics. Why? I dunno. No boobs is on show and even if there was, if you wanna show off your body on Broadway maybe you shouldn’t be a pussy about it.
Did I mention it went on forever?
Anyway, Todd reviewed it and loved it on rock nyc and the folks at rock of ages plastered his review ALL OVER their fb…. The chances of this happening again are non existent.
At least the versions of the songs were actual rock by an actual rock band and any way how scary is it to cover Whitesnake or Def Lepperd (I know, I know: I was testing you)?
The acting is wide, the girls are hot, the jokes are mouldy, the music is bland, and the audience has been filling the theatre for months.