Oh my dear Morrissey like a fragile old woman he wanders through the world worshiped an adored and then.. canceling a show and then another then ….well you know the drill by now. The guy is unreliable. Be it a sick family member or a bad bowl of pasta… its always something.
A couple weeks ago Morrissey lands in Peru and he is worshiped and stalked. The night of his show WHILE PEOPLE WERE IN LINE TO ENTER THE VENUE, he cancels- he has food poisoning. But no not just that night he is cancelling his entire 2 month South American tour. Reason? Food Poisoning.
Now you’re smart enough to know that food poisoning is not going to take you out for a month. So we fans went X Files on it, there had to be something more. Well now, finally the elusive genius has taken to the now infamous True-to-you.net website. A sight he mysteriously posts on cloaked in darkness when no one is watching. This time he is telling the tale of an evil bowl of penne pasta. This vicious bowl was so evil it made him have to fly back to LA for medical treatment. No Peruvian doctor could handle the magnitude of this penne- it was simply that bad. The upside? Moz will still hit Brazil so the entire tour is not off, just Lima. Its comical actually. We all know well enough tht this is not the reason for cancellation. There is, in fact another reason but I am unsure if we will ever know the real reason. Killer penne- be damned I say. Cmon its not even meat(which I could understand as rancid perhaps)..here are his words.
I can’t give words to the sorrow I feel at the loss of perfect Peru. Oh, black cloud. After such a victorious and uplifting welcome of Lima love, the contaminated jinx had its way via a simple restaurant meal of penne pasta and tomato. Three hours later, both I, and security Liam have collapsed with a deadly and delirious bedridden disease. Five days of round-the-clock medical supervision just barely controls the corrosively toxic food poisoning. I know my luck too well. Sorrow replaces joy, and in every dream home a heartache. It could only be me.
I have returned to Los Angeles and to the expert supervision of my doctor Jeremy Fine, who assures me that I shall be fine (although not in the gossamer, powdery sense) for our upcoming shows in Argentina and Brazil. I have absolutely no idea where my beloved Chile has gone. In the heat of cancellations and postponements, the humiliation and mortification I feel on a personal level is too mammoth to be measured. If my spirits climb down any lower I could never again find the dignity to stand upright. We all live at the mercy of biological chance, and although I am not one to take refuge in clichés, I repeat my very servile apologies to any and all who back-packed their way to Peru. Alas, the dark shadow made the same journey.
Each year of life brings us nearer to our decline, but I will continue to seek a listener until I’m dead in a ditch.
with all the soul of the world
MORRISSEY
12 July 2013, Los Angeles.