This new take on the Superman saga begins with a woman belaboring the point, giving birth to baby Kal-El in a heavingly ridiculous start to this overblown and heartless action movie.
From there we watch the destruction of Krypton, the saving of baby Superman by a bloated Russel Crowe who is to Marlon Brando what this humorless claptrap is to the 1970s “Superman”. Then in a serious terrible, terrible hour, we get stuck piecing together Clark Kent’s childhood through depressing flash backs without a second of pleasure in them. Why won’t they tell us the back story? Because they are in too great a hurry to get to the blood and guts.
Finally, the story kicks in and it is a retelling of Superman 2 where supervillains arrive to take over the world and only Superman can save us. The entire city of Metropolis is blown to pieces in the final of three 3D acts of wanton destruction but Superman gets Lois Lane at the end.
This movie exemplifies everything that is wrong with 2013 action movies. Character, stamina, humor, plot, believablity, everything is thrown away for the sole purpose of another action sequence. It is 158 minutes of whizz boom bah without even a second of the brilliance of the sequence where Superman reverses time to save Lois Lane.
Larence Fishburne is no Jackie Coogan, Amy Adams is no Margot Kidder, and God knows Henry Cavill, who acts with his dimple, is no Christopher Reeves. By not bringing Clark Kent t the Daily Bugle till the end, they blew up all the pleasure, all the sercretness, all the smarts.
Musically Hans Zimmer has managed a top ten hit with this business as usual zonks and orchestra. At a bar in Alaska a woman sings “Rings of fire”
Movie: D+
Music: C