rihanna promises to share her umbrella with jason
I’ve ragged on Slate’s Jonah Weiner pretty unmercilessly and, really, if you’re gonna write such puke inducing crap as that Joanna Newsome review -where after two bloody hours of the pain in the neck he wants ta play the album again to keep her with him, you are kinda asking for it.
But when Weiner is less keen on the artist he is much better, and his Justin Bieber review is tons of fun. Never more so than here: “The biggest wink on My World is “First Dance,” a barely masked plea to deflower someone. We begin the song “at the prom,” where there are, curiously, “no chaperones.” “This could be the night of your dreams,” Bieber coos. We are already in thick double entendre territory, and it only gets thicker when the chorus hits: “If you give, give the first dance to me/ Girl, I promise I’ll be gentle, I know we gotta do it slowly.” In five years, when Bieber releases BieberSex/LoveSounds and tells Howard Stern about all the wild Ramada orgies he’s enjoyed on the road, don’t say you weren’t warned. “