Robert Downing Jr. has perfected a steady paced, stop and pause, than rapid fire delivery in a vain effort to sell terrible and unfunny dialog as both Sherlock Holmes and Ironman. He really deserves some kind of award for this, he plays these superhero with such off the cuff charm, you almost forget that everything word he says, every quip, every joke, is pathetic.
On its way to being the most popular movie since the much better "Avatar", the Avengers gets together Marvel Superheroes from previous movies and lumps them for a battle for the world -or at least the most important part of the world, Manhattan. Loki, Asgardian God Thor's evil step brother, makes a del with Transformer looking aliens to capture the Earth for them in return for being made ruler. Human's want to be slaves, he believes, we don't want much freedom.
So the head of Shield, Sgt Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson in a going through the numbers performance, assembles the team of superheroes. It's a mixed bunch, most of em are terrible. Chris Evans was pretty good in his movie, but here Captain America is an irritating square. The Hulk (Mark Rufaflo) is worse, for some reason they decide Hulk can control his anger and fight as part of a team.. . when did that happen? Hawkeye is blander than blander, the Black Widow is losing her looks and Thoor looks like a male stripper.
The first two thirds is boring beyond belief. Two set pieces of stupid violence leading to a huge battle on the east Side near Grand Central. Is n't it a little soon in the wake of 9-11 to blow up nyc? I don't care morally, but anesthetically it just can't compare to the real thing.
This is a pretty terrible movie about Nick Fury ignoring a direct order by the freely elected Government because he doesn't want to do it. Wait a second, isn't the whole point that Loki wants to enslave people, take away their freedom. Fury does it because he doesn't want to obey the will of the people.
Whatever, right? I mean it is a dumb, badly acted, badly crafted, boring special effects piece of trash. In the post-Spiderman marvel movies world this is better than "Wolverine" and that's about it. They spend an hour getting everybody, an hour bickering and half an hour blowing up Manhattan. Completely unbelievable, I know, I know: but you must maintain believability within the confines of the superhero universes. It breaks its own laws with impunity. There is no one to root for. The action sequence are not in the slightest bit exciting since nothing is ever in doubt and there is no one to root for.
This is the Summer blockbuster?
Musically, the "inspired by" album -all Black Veil Brides and Soundgarden, is pretty good but none of it is in the movie. In the movie, Ironman wears a Black Sabbath tee. Really? At least wear a "Pissed Jeans" tee and pretend you're cool.
Grade: C
Music C