I started off thinking I’d write a parody of Middle East Clubs silly how to get booked advise on their web page Helen posted yesterday. But it is tough to improve on self-parody like their “Be Good”.
I ended up with stuff like: write really popular songs that millions of people want to hear. It can only take you so far.
So I wondered if I could find some serious advise. Some random thoughts on being in a rock band that actually has the potential for success -I’ll try not to get too Middle East on y’all.
1. A rock band is more like a wedding than a business partnership unless you become successful, then it becomes a business partnership. At least at first make sure you’re working with people you seriously.love being around.
2. Contracts, contracts, contracts. Consider em prenups between band members, management, PR agencies, record companies, night club owners. Hell, have your groupies sign a contract.
3. Great mangement, great agents, great attornies.
4. I call this the Mick Jagger rule: been involved in every single aspect of the business end.
5. Money matters. Art tastes a lot better on a full stomach and you have a much better chance of fulfilling your artistic asporations on a full stomach.
6. Get drunk. Get laid. Take drunks. Business first.
7. Use a condom (women too -even if he is a musician himself, even if he is further up the food chain). Guys, forget STD’s, you will have a slew of paternity suits whatever happens and they are costly and embarrassing even if you aren’t married. At least condoms even up the odds.
8. Find outside interests. Among other problems with being insulated in a musical bubble is you run out of things to write about. I call this the “Memory Motel” rule-the 1976 road song: “On the seventh day my eyes were all a glaze we’ve been ten thousand miles been in fifteen states Every woman seemed to fade out of my mind. I hit the bottle and hit the sack and cried.”” Who you wrote it you asl? The Stones of course.
9. Everywhere you go? Mick Jagger beat you too it. We call this the Rolling Stones collorary.
10. Is it worth? Yeah, but only if you’re obsessed with music. Otherwise it’ll eat you up and spit you out.
Good luck and in the words of the Middle East Night Club, Be Pleasant.