1. Mesmerizing – Liz Phair – It is surprising how uncluttered and close up Liz sounds: it’s all attitude and vulnerability and that’s before you get to the lyric.
2. Misery – Trans Siberian Orchestra – There are two things to keep in mind about TSO 1)Their distribution of self, a study in capitalism at work and 20 their music which exists to torture me with sub-par Andrew lloyd Webber rips.
3. Center Of Parade – Mayday Parade – They exist for a different demo and when they’re really on their game they trasncend the demo and here they don’t.
4. Surfin’ USA – The Beach Boys – Brian’s first great idea was not singing about surfing, it was stick hamonies on Chuck berry songs.
5. No (Papa, No) – Louis Armstrong – 35 seconds in and he has already killed you with a trombone solo no one else was doing because he had just invented it.
6. Old Dirt Road – John Lennon – Just because he was murdered at forty doesn’t mean every thing he did was great. This is pretty mediocre meat, except when he whistles, theb it’s great.
7. Life In A Cage (Life In the Electric) – The Knux – weren’t these guys the next great hip hop hope or something?
8. Beat It Up (Feat. Trey Songz) – Gucci Mane – Songz is like a pox on every single thing he touches except that sexting one.
9. What Is There To Say – Chet Baker – All atmosphere plus tone… it’s like having somebody you love stroke you while you’re nodding off to sleep.
10. Return Of The Grievous Angel – Gram Parsons – “Out with the truckers and the kickers and the cowboy angels…” Just reading where Parsons managed to get himself kicked outta the Exile On Mainstreet sessions for being so fucked up… Watta guy!
11. 3am – Eminem – This is what he is apologizing over? This????? It takes that piece of aural valium”Not Afraid” and shoots it in the fucking face.
12. Here, There And Everywhere – The Beatles – This is why Macca is getting the Gershwin Award from Bam.
13. Cream – Buckcherry – Ooooh, nasty shit.
14. Naturally – Selena – This is like going to a topless bar and watching a dancer; the boobs look right but they don’t wiggle right.
15. Oh No – The Only Ones – Peter Perrit’s response to the charms of married life.
16. Ohio – Crosby, Still, nash And Young – If four people have to die may I recommend an alternative to the students.
17. What Yr Phone # – 2Pac – When people talk about how great All Eyez On Me, they don’t mean this.
18. Sacrifice – Lisa Gerrard – The chick from Dead can dance remixed. Scary shit.
19. Did I Tell You – Yo La Tengo – Off the great, great, great Fakebook, “I try not to wander or tell you that I’m not willing to wait. Deep In my heart I’m willing, heart’s still willing, my brain’s impatient…” I was at a club where Yo La tengo were playing once and I asked Ira to play the song for me but I couldn’t remember the name so I sang it to him and he did sing it for the encore. Yaaay Ira.
20. Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield – The “but the point is probably moot” slays me every time.
21. Don’t Give Me No Lip, Child – Sex Pistols – Rotten could never sound American but this as close to the Dolls as they ever got.
22. Down In A hole – Alice In Chains – Sounds like a band being defined by the drugs they consume.
23. Fuzz Love – Dum Dum Girls – What a bad live act will do for you -I can’t hear em any more…
24. Amber – Benga And Skream – Leaders of dub-step: Kinda echoey lashes, sound effects and a distilled drum roll.
25. What It Is – Paul McCartney – An okay rocker from Macca’s last hurrah, the must own Run Devil run
26. Studebaker -Warren Zevon – Demo version, and it kinda chugs and seems set to stall. I’ve heard a great cover by his son Jordon.
27. One Less Lonely Girl – Justin Bieber – I feel nothing but a) contempt and b) boredom with folks who can’t HEAR this song. The sorta sung that changes a talented kid into a major contender. If Justin was a little less eager to please, if he could dig deeper, he could be a major contender. But if Justin flames, if the jonas brothers or miley are, in the end, useful products that kids outgrow, so what? This is a fabulous song.
28. Tell It To The rain – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons – Round about now the blueprint was set and the dividends were being to dwindle.
29. London Calling – The Clash – Strummer’s defining moment.
30. School Days – The Runaways – Kinda glammy and punky at the same time.
31. please Don’t Leave (Digital Dog Club Mix) – Like it just walked out of the eighties and on to the floor. This is how I take my Pink.
32. Be My Baby – John Lennon – Off the triple anthology and I guess an outtake from the Rock And Roll sessions, first Lennon rides that riff for over a minute and then he slurs and seduces a song he was built to sing.
33. Family Life – The Blue Nile – I planned to write about the Blue Nile about six months ago and got blocked on the post. If I hadn’t given up I might never have written again and the reason is I can’t grasp the essense of this English countryside late summer evening sound.
34. The Long Division – Elvis Costello with Burt Bacharah – The very essence of over-produced sixties art pop and stupendous on every level. Costello can’t write like this any more though he thinks he can. He couldn’t write like this before. It stands alone, a towering achievement of symphonic pop, aided by Bacharah.
35.She Smiled Sweetly – The Rolling Stones – I wonder if some people think I’m being ironic when I rave about the Stones? They haven’t heard this song about the uncertainties of youth and love in a druggy haze.
36. Listen to My Heart – The Ramones – The Beatles on pep pills.
OK, that’ll do it for now…