Scotty McCreary Signs Major Label Deal
American idol winner Scotty McCreary is like the baby in the on line investing commercial. You look at him and the voice shouldn't be coming from this body. Maybe he's more like the Exorcist: "YOU WILL DIE UP THERE!", it is devil posession and it is fucking creepy. Where is this voice coming from? Looking like a mix of Clay Aiken and Alfred E. Newman and sounding like Scott Walker in spaghetti western, the man is a scary baritone, all come across my big brass bed and play with my Wiii wiii.
Yes, and actually, maybe he is the Robert Johnson of American Idol because what the hell else explains him signing a contract with Mercury Nashville/ 19 Recordings/ Interscope, which sounds an awful lot like the producers of a summer blockbuster.
I am not a prude or a moralist when it comes to music, all I care about is how stuff sounds. Scotty's "I Love You This Big" is even worse than its title suggests, it is simultaneously overblown and too small. It is like George Strait after a labotomy.
It is… ahhh, crap, I'm running out of insults. It is unbearable on every humanly possible level. It is bad country, it is bad pop. It is an overblown lie…
I don't mind being emotionally manipulated, but I hate it when it is done badly.
And so the devil rode down to nashville, and all I got was this karoake clap trap.
