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Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" Album Reviewed

peaks really early


















The trick with Robin Thicke is to take a look at his daddy Alan Thicke because Robin is to pop music what Alan was to sitcom acting: a mediocre professional who comes up with the goods often enough, who doesn’t REALLY ruffle any feathers, an entertainer. A good, smart entertainer, both father and son are good clean(ish) fun, all round entertainers.

Alan was fine in “Growing Pains” –a sort of “Family Ties” corrective with soon to be born again Kirk Cameron and poster child for low self-esteem Tracey Gold, shepherded by parents that only exist in sitcom land. While “Married With Children” were stretching the envelope and “Family ties’ were at least PRETENDING to have a political opinion, Alan rewrote “Father Knows best” with the gosh darn it flip that daddy worked from home.

Robin is the same thing. Same mainstream deal over six intensely whatever albums, Robin took the leavings on the table from Pharrell, Timberland, Dr. Luke. It was all “Hey, Justin doesn’t want this, can you use it?” And Robin can use it and if he is highly predictable, still, that falsetto reminded you of Prince enough, and, God knows, he was white enough to think, “oh, olay, I get it”. And his albums would hit the charts, not kill em dead, but chart,

Except for his first album the following four all charted but except for his second singles, all his songs have dogged. It suggests that for a white r&b guy, he was a little culty. He wasn’t really crossing over pop.

That changed with the undeniable “Blured Lines” and the album of the same name will chart but with the world at his feet, and with maybe two songs away from world domination, guess what? Robin doesn’t have em. How could he have em, he is a Thicke-y… did Alan ever hit as big as “Growing Pains” again? Not even close.

The problem for Robin is instantaneous. The follow up single “Give It To U’ with Kendrick Lemarr is nearly exactly, like note for note, what you think it is. Indeed, just read the title and you’ve heard it. It isn’t that it is baaaaaaad, but it isn’t very good. And it stiffed when you figure just drag from “Blurred Lines” would make it a minor hit.

And it is typical with this hugely boring album: it’s like he is Justin Timberlake without the… without really anything much. Song after song about the joys of monogomay confused by clumsy bad lyrics.  I’ve listened to the album a coupla times and nothing has stuck.  And what’s more, I’ve reviewed three albums by Thicke and just listening in for this review, I don’t remember one damn song. No wait, the Faith Evans I remember. But that’s because I remember Faith Evans.

His best album since 2006’s Evolution of and his poppiest album ever, Robin’s bouncy EDM meets blue eyed soul, it never comes close to getting its bearings after the opening track, the title one of course, has set the bar so damn high he can’t come close.

The rest of the album seems to have arrived from a different recording sessions. “Go Stupid 4 U’ might not be the worst song Dr. Luke has ever put his name to, but it is inconsequential, immaterial, it just isn’t there.

Really, how upset can you get over something you’ll forget existed tomorrow?

Robin Thick is one move away from a sitcom.

Grade: C

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