Say what you will about Miley Cyrus, she has the most boring controversies known to man. While Justin Bieber is getting himself hustled out of brothels in the dead of night, Miley is shocking the world by dirty dancing and smoking a joint.
I mean, really, this is about as lame as it gets. Hell, we haven’t had a President who hasn’t lit a joint since Reagan. What were once vices are now as straight laced as a chocolate martini at Café Carlyle. Where is the shock in awe in all this: Miley’s problem is Bangerz isn’t up to much, it is OK but song for song it is a snooze and a half. All the ballads suck on ice though I will give her two really good songs. On the album.
The thing is, having said all that, if Miley is the poster child for bad behavior in the under 20s, where does that leave bad behavior? Really, I am not sure what Miley could do to shock, or maybe I mean DESERVEDLY SHOCK, the world?
1. Have sex with a ten year old.
2. Move in with a 70 year old.
3. Change genders.
4. Deal drugs.
5. Hook up with Justin Bieber.
6. Sign up with Vivid.
7. Get into politics.
8. Have an affair with bill di Blasio’s fifteen year old son.
9. Become a nun.
10. Commit a murder.
All those would be fun ways to push the envelope but smoking pot, dropping Mollie, dirty dancing? Really, that’s gonna shock any one? I mean besides Andrea Peyser, who gives a fuck?