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Iman and Hel Do SNL Rihanna

Rihanna is 29 years old and pretty famous.  She’s adorable and has been bitch slapped by Chris Brown and keeps going back for more.  This being said its evident she is not a bright woman so running about in half an outfit and straddling cannons and chanting lyrics may well be the best way for her to earn the Yankee dollar.


I am not a fan.  I am not a fan of the entire pop dance thing and I can’t see this woman changing my mind.  It makes it incredibly difficult to watch these side shows that SNL provides me with weekly.  I crashed out last week on what was most likely the only act I would want to see all season.


The question to me is who is watching this crap and who is liking it?  I suppose there is  smidge of pop girls ‘totally stoked’ Rihanna is on tonight cuz she is “Amazing!” and the truth is…no.


You may enjoy this type of music but to me it’s 2:59 of pure ear torture.  Iman has run off to see this tart live numerous times and has enjoyed it (Iman clarifies: "I've seen her twice, reviewed her once. and thought she was a drag, but it was circa Rated R, Rihanna's worst album").  I would rather stick forks in my gums than endure any more than is absolutely necessary for the life of this column.  I hated her last season and chances are pretty good I’m gonna hate her again… so let’s get this over with.


Straight of the set of Yo Gabba Gabba (or is this the video for "Groove Is In The Heart"?) SNL tries to take their tired show and hip it up with green screen.  Really whats better than Rihanna in a army jacket?  Shes military obsessed.  This may be "Diamonds" but its cubic zirconia to me.

Shes putting for so many dramatic expressions that you nearly lose track of the fact that this is one of the most horriblyexecuted music scenes SNL has done in forever. 


 Iman?  He is a whole lot more open minded than I will ever be "The song is better live than on record and Rihanna is quite understated. But the haircut has to go, the outfit is a mess and who needs an understated Ree Ree?  Finally she has the most nondescript voice on earth and it doesn't help her here."

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