I don't think I can overstate the uselessness of this road movie. A nearly has been rocker . Ethan Brand (Alessandro Nivola) is on tour when a long ago one night stand drops off a thirteen year old girl, the title character Janie Jones, emoted by Abigail Breslin and heads south.
What would you do if this happened to you? Me? I'd go to a hospital and have a paternity test and if she was my daughter I'd deal with it and if she wasn't I'd hand her to the cops with a nolle prosequi.
God forbid director David Rosenfeld, who based this on a true story, would think of such a thing.
Instead, we get a lot of emoting, a lot of bonding, a lot of cliches about life on the road and one thoroughly shitty song after another on the way to, ahem, SXSW. Yeah, that'll get his career back on its legs.
Abigail's Janie is the most annoying character of the year -people should have gone as her on halloween; this whiny, wretch who writes wretched songs she wretchedly sings in a tuneless whisper. And as her father Alessandro Nivola commits career hari kari as he wanders drunkenly being saved by the half pint till every denouement in the world occurs. His father killed himself when Ethan was nine years old. Lucky guy.
As for the music? I am listening to the soundtrack as I write and I want to hurt somebody. It is brutally bad. There is a song here, "Please" which is so awful you want to go John Belushi on his fucking guitar.The way he sings "Pleaaaase" is so annoying it will fray your brains. Anything worse, the way Abigail says "am-be-ling" during the worst version of "House Of The Rising Son" ever sung by any one.
Anyway, the band is on tour, Janie's junkie Mom is dumps the plank onher dad, dad's tour goes nowhere, he breaks up with his girlfriend who is having an affair with his guitarist, gets dropped by his label, the rest of the band and his manager leave him, so goes solo with Janie in tow and she eventually sings with him.
I'll save you the rest of this piece of nonsense and just note that I am currently listening to the Clash's first album in the hope that it will erase the memory of this "Janie Jones" once and forever.
Movie: C-
Music: F