Here is the first paragraph of Consequence of Sound’s review of Pearl Jam’s new album, Lighning Bolt: “Titles say a lot in Pearl Jam’s discography. Not in the sense that they do with any artist — you know, cluing you into what they’re writing about — but in the sense that the structure of their titles hints at what version of Pearl Jam you’re about to get. For the longest time, they favored short, enigmatic, often single word titles for their albums, sometimes making up their own borrowing them from obscure medical texts (Vitalogy) or bending a familiar form into an abstract summation of the LP in question (Ten, Vs., No Code, Yield). Unless you count the greatest hits collection Rearviewmirror or a smattering of official live releases, the longest album title they’d had thus far was Backspacer, at a whopping ten letters. That is, until Lightning Bolt, which at fourteen letters is practically a Fiona Apple couplet of a Pearl Jam album name. Not only that, but its words are plain and everyday in a way that none of their album titles have been. There was mystery in No Code and Riot Act. Not so much in Lightning Bolt. It just sounds like any old rock album name, but also a slight one, a record without a defining characteristic or larger resonance. Compared to the opacity of prior releases, it’s a generic name coming off as downright banal.”
Now here’s the first paragraph of my review: “Here’s Pearl Jams problem: Kurt hated Vedder because Vedder over sang and came across as insincere. And the problem is, Kurt was right, but the band settled down (though too late the hero Kurt) with Vitalogy”
The writer above is Ryan Leas and with all due respect, and who wants to pick on some scribe trying to get paid by word and running em up, but damn, could he be a bigger blowhard? Personally, I blame the editor. What sort of rock fan looks at the first two paragraphs, read it all here, and read more.
Though who wants to read more?
Rock writing isn’t dea, it is killing people with boredom. Have you ever tried Pitchfork? Not only is all their taste in their mouth, these are the most humorless guys in the world. Even if they were right, which they aren’t but whatever maybe they are sometimes, it wouldn’t save em because they can’t crack a goddamn smile. It is the least sexy, fun, clever, writing in the world. Check this out: “The line in the sand was really 2006′s Pearl Jam, the move of self-titling a clear reset button for the band but also so unsettling for fans that they still regularly refer to it as Avocado. That nickname was derived from the self-titled album’s cover, and Pearl Jam’s cover art too has seemed symbolic. Backspacer was plenty slick musically, but maybe the main reason it felt compressed and distant was the cartoons on the cover.”
I have never heard and album sound compressed and distance (surely that should be compressed or distant?) but if I had it would have nothing to do with the gooddamn sleeve. What the fuck? You write a couple of thousand words for fucking CoS and that’s what you have to tell the world?
THE WORLD NEEDS TO BE TOLD SLEEVE ART DOESN’T CHANGE MUSIC.
This is rock nyc’s competition. THIS?
Wait, I said they had no sense of humor but check out the correction in their first paragraph. Maybe they do have a sense of humor after all.