‘If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true — and that is completely unacceptable’ she said at the end.
As the ex-Ms Paul Simon, she, of course, had a little part about him, in which she explained that some songs were written about her:
‘If you can get Paul Simon to write a song about you,… Doooo it! She yelled, ‘Because he is so, so good at it! But this song was called ‘She moves on’,… ironic title, and there is this lyric in it that I want to share with you…
And that lyric is: ‘I’m afraid that I’ll be taken/Abandoned, forsaken/In her cold coffee eyes’, She said the lyrics very slowly,…
‘Yeah I’m a bitch! And he wrote another song about me, and this one was called ‘Allergies’ and the lyrics is that one are: ‘But my heart is allergic/To the women I love/And it’s changing the shape of my face’
‘Is that flattering? No I don’t think it is either! But my favorite album is this album that is called ‘Hearts and Bones’ and the title of the song is…(the song ‘Hearts and Bones’ is played in the background)… It sounds a lot like this, but it couldn’t be it since we did not get the permission to use it,… that would be bad, wouldn’t it?’
‘Oh it would not be baaad, because I never took any alimony from Paul, so think about it this way, you’re listening to my alimony, and lovely alimony it is!’
‘Anyway the lyric is: ‘One and one-half wandering Jews’
‘I am the half from Eddie (Fisher)’….
Paul singing: ‘Returned to their natural coasts’
Carrie murmuring ‘West is my natural coast’
Paul singing: ‘To resume old acquaintances/Step out occasionally/And speculate who had been damaged the most’
Carrie screaming ‘Who had been damaged the most? Guess who won that contest!’
Anyway watch it if you can, she is pretty funny!