1. Hello, I Must Be Going – Groucho Marx – “I am certainly grateful for this magnificent wash out… turn out”
2. Chase The Tear – Portishead – This is so good I went to see Beak on the strength of it.
3. Rock N roll Nigger – Patti Smith – Outside of society….
4. 4 Chords Of The Apocalypse – Julian Casablancas – I hope the Strokes is half this good.
5. American Honey – Lady Antebellum – Sweet, like too sweet.
6. Coffee Spoon – Cold war Kids – Their greatest moments. Before we realized they were fucking hippies.
7. Walk With You – Ringo Starr – Why return to see the scene of the crime? Just terrible.
8. Must Be Santa – Bob Dylan – Hey, Dylan singing a polka in praise of Santa, for charity no less. How bad can it be? Bet the grandkids love it.
9. Ought To Be More Songs About – Montgomery Gentry – How about songs about fuck faces who slaughter innocent animals through illegal tricks?
10. Merry Swiftmas – Evan Taubenfeld – OOoooh, i love this song. In a week or two? Invest some money in i, it’s great.
11. Don’t Rain On My Parade – Glee – Lea Michaels superb version and easily Glee’s finest moment.
12. If We Ever Meet Again (feat Katy Perry)- Timbaland – I never forgave him for his very flat Jingle Ball performance, but this is the best off Shock Value II.
13. Echo – R. Kelly – From a terrific album which stiffed and shouldn’t have.
14. Cousins – Vampire Weekend – Still sounds like nothing else out… where’s that crib sheet again? Pass it over…
15. Heartless – Kris Allen – The American Idol winners fine cover.
16. One Less Lonely Girl – Justin Bieber – Believe it or not, a year later and Bieber is already past this.
17. Set Me Free (Harvard Bass Mix) – Drop The Lime – It swarms you in its sound, without ever losing what it is about: a relentless beat and a soul vocal.
18. What you do to Me – Blacroc – Blues, meet hip hop
19. Written in reverse – Spoon – No, not Mr. Spoon.
20. Hate…f – The Bravery – If this was better it would be better.