The latest in our ongoing, ground breaking, dirt raking and all too true series of “Are The Gay?” exposes finds us face to face with one of the wild men of rock. A man not quite willing to go up against Bambi or Thumper with a rifle and blow the animals head off. I know what you are thinking, how can Ted Nugent be gay given his umpteen relationships with women, wife, children and generally macho persona? Well, look at it this way:
1. Ted Nugent has slept with 100s and 100s of women. We know this because he is very proud of the fact. But look at it logically, who would sleep with 100s of women if they were happy in their sex life? How long can you search for what you have already found? It seems to me if you can’t find sexual satisfaction after attempting it with that many women, perhaps it isn’t women you want?
2. With his long long hair and scrawny sexually neutral physique, Mr. Nugent would be raw meat at any hoosegaw you care to mention. They would have Ted touching the butt of his semi-automatic before he could say cat scratch fever. Incidentally, cat scratch? What is he, a Rolling Stones groupie?
3. In most cases you would think a fixation on big guns would suggest an insecurity for his little gun. And that may well be so, I have never seen his penis and refuse to be drawn into the whole “size matters” issue. However, the gun fetish might hide a fetish for another gun, a gun many men can share with him.
4. And why such a putz over Obama or should I call the putzness by its real name: MANDINGO LUST. Yes, that’s my claim, it isn’t the rising in his taxes that worries Nugent.
So in conclusion, and with no proof whatever to back up this claim, I believe the facts show Ted Nugent is indeed gay.