The Grammy Awards took place last night in Los Angeles , CA. last night, sporting more cleavage than a James Bond film festival. The proceedings were a mixed bag, at best. Lady Gaga opened the show, announcing to the fashion world that shoulder pads are back.
Gaga came across as precisely the enigma she wants to be. Loaded with talent, great body with just enough of a horse face to pass herself off as a misfit. A brilliant strategy, but she has the pipes to back it up. Going piano to piano with Sir Elton, she more than held her own.
Steven Colbert then came out and told a very funny Jeff Beck joke that bombed, followed by a terrible Katy Perry joke that earned him screams. This does not bode well for the rest of the evening.
Beyonce won song of the year, much to the delight of the Jay-Z mafia seated center stage.
Jennifer Lopez introduces Green day and it’s hard to say who that’s worse for. They sang this “21 guns” song that gave me 21 migraines. The verse to this thing sounds just like Neil Young’s “Heart Of Gold”. Is he suing them?
Taylor Swift wins best country album. Very humble in her acceptance speech, it provided an “aw shucks” moment that really has you happy for her. Later on though, she would perform and negate that. She was flatting on her own song “Fairytale”, and then on her duet with Stevie Nicks, she absolutely butchered “Rhiannon”. One of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen on television.
Beyonce came out and sang a confusing medley of “If I were A Boy” followed by Alanis Morrisette’s “You Oughta Know”.. What, does Jay-Z owe Morrisette a favor? The performance was way over the top, but so was Gaga. So why do I hate this one?, Oh yeah, because the song sucks.
Pink came out like some butch fitness trainer singing some meandering ballad hanging from the ceiling after being dipped in water. Dreadful.
Zac Brown band wins best new artist, but the awards themselves are taking a back seat to all these dreadful style over substance performances. What a joke.
Black Eyed Peas did a medley of “I’m A Bee” (misspelling intentional) followed by “I Got A Feeling” Hated the first part, liked the second part.
Kings Of Leon win record of the year. Seems like the academy is just trying to spread it around at this point. These guys are not that good.
The best part about the Jamie Foxx segment was seeing George Clinton in the audience. Just a big infomercial about himself. Listening desperately for a melody. Nope, nothing there.
The Michael Jackson segment was actually pretty good, Smokey and Celine sang very well with MJ’s recording. Two American Idol contestants were also on stage so that the kids would stay interested, and Usher rounded out the quintet so that everybody could find their seats after it was over. (He’s an Usher, get it?..yuk, yuk)
Sheryl Crow, Bon Jovi, oh boy this is painful. “Jenny used to work on the docks..A dozen bagels, a pound of lox, oh no…..”
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” was sung by Mary J Blige, and Andrea Bocelli. This was very good. Too bad we need to have a global catastrophe to get a good performance at the Grammys.
In a tribute to Les Paul, Jeff Beck and Imelda May gave a sizzling performance of “How High The Moon”. Not really sure who Imelda May is but I have a feeling that won’t be the case for long. Easily the highlight of the evening.
Lil Wayne, Eminem and Drake closed the show. I think they sang something but I could’nt tell because the censors kept cutting off the audio. Exactly what’s the point here?
Taylor Swift wins album of the year. It must be a pretty good record, but her brutal performance last night is not going to make me want to check her out anytime soon.
It doesn’t really matter as 85% of what’s going on here during these proceedings isn’t even geared toward me anyway.
The cardinal sin of the evening goes to the telecast itself, by relegating their lifetime achievement awards to mere footnotes announced during the telecast. SHAME on them. Leonard Cohen, Loretta Lynn and others won lifetime achievement awards, but if you weren’t listening during the ten seconds when they mentioned them, you’d never know it happened. These used to be my favorite segments of the show, where you’d get to see an informative short film clip that educates you a little bit as to who these people are and why they are so important. What little class the Grammys used to deliver has now been chucked in favor of the industry’s own perceived self-importance. For me, this was the main contributing factor to a very sad evening indeed.