Francis Ford Coppola can sleep easy. The wedding of Bella Swan to Edward Cullen is in no way a threat to Connie Corleone's wedding day. It is in no way a threat to just about anything in the annals of motion pictures. Rather, the deadly boring first half hour of Breaking Dawn is the most turgid soap opera I have ever seen. Endlessly dull, preposterously serious, nothing remotely works in the never ending sequence.
I have always enjoyed Kristin Stewart's twitchy, manic depressive weirdness in the past (there is a devastating parody of it in "Vampires Suck") but not any more. If she can't cheer up on her wedding she is beyond redemption and doesn't need to become a vampire to suffer through eternity: she just needs to sit through her performance here.
The entire first hour is washout and the movie doesn't get going till werewolf Jacob goes rogue.
Or am I assuming you know too much? Well, I said more or less… Bella falls in love with Edward who is a vampire, Jacob falls in love with Bella -Jacob is a werewolf. Vampires and werewolves hate each.. Three movies late, Edward is marrying Bella, Jacob is pissed, Edward and Bella have unprotected sex (meaning before he changes her into a vampire) and Bella gets pregnant… an impossibility and the half human half vampire fetus is killing Bella from the inside out… lucky fetus.
Music it is just awful.Iron And Wine's "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" is worse than the title implies. Who would choose this for their wedding song? for fuck's sake, it's just begging for trouble. Incidentally, it was also their prom night song, proving some people never learn, you know, they have to learn the hard way. When she's pregnant, Aqualung and Schwartz's "Cold" plays. In theory I like Aqualung much more in theory than in practice. "Celebrate my end"? I'd like to.
Movie: C+
Music: D+