When I was 20 years old my heroes were English rock critics, not English rock musicians. Julie Burchill, Tony Parsons, Mick Farren, Charles Shaar Murray, Nick Kent… all of Nick Logan and then a little later Neil Spencer's writers at new Musical Express. Plus Allan Carr at Melody Maker. And of course, Lester Bangs, because he wrote the best interview I'd ever read in the NME -his on tour with the Clash which remains the standard bearer for all road interviews by any one ever.
I moved to the States in 1979 and found some more heroes to emulate (read: steal from) here.
The top of the list is Robert Christgau. His work in the 1970s is simply the best extended work of music criticism I have ever read. For me, it is the Bible. I have stolen so much from it, I can't even begin to remember how much. I use his lines like I use lyrics to a song. Here's one on Costello: "all wordplay as swordplay". Or his advise to Mick Jagger after listening to Prince: "He should roll up his penis and go home"(I use that when I get dumped by a girl) Or, this, something he actually said to me after I had written a particularly vicious swipe at Visage: "They aren't invading Poland". I use that line to this day whenever any body over-reacts. Robert was both pedantic and cool, he was dubbed the Dean though more like the professor. And, in his consumer guide, just perfect at the 100 word review that needed nothing added.
And then the deluge,
Dave DiMartino -the Creem editor, who wrote one of the best interviews I've ever read, the one with Joni Mitchell. DiMartino wrote about mainstream rock but his ear was experimental,. He could write about Rush but his heart was with Captain Beefheart.
Bill Holdship -another one of my Creem editors. He not only all but discovered the replacements, but a year ago wrote the best stuff I've read about Iggy Pop in years. Holdship is a rock and roller first and foremost. He also had (I mean has!) great ears.
Rick Johnson – funniest man alive period end of sentence.
John Mendelssohn – Mr. Eleganza
Of course, the more Yanks I read, the more names I came across. Greil Marcus's "Stranded" introduced me to another line I use all the time -by him. About the Beach Boys, Greil wrote: "In pursuit of girls but only to validate their honor." Greil also introduced me to Ariel Swartley, her review of The Wild, The Innocent And The E Street Shuffle is the standard bearer. The ending is the best last paragraph of a review you can imagine.
Not many chicks, you might have noticed? Of the four writers always on rock nyc, I am the only guy. But this is now. The women who rocked my world were Burchill, Susan Whitall, and then, five to ten years later, Carol Cooper and Ann Powers. Of modern rock critics, my fave chick is Mary Magpie, who is 14 years old now and has been writing for rock nyc for two years.
The NME had one more go round, under Neil Spencer, before they fell apart. In the 1980's Paul Morley, whose writing about Joy Division, New Order, ABC, was as sexy, suave and stylish as the times, was the best. If not him, certainly Ian Penman. His review of Trust ("I believe the song is about me. Anything less would be speculation" discussing "Watch Your Step").
Back Stateside, the late great Richard Fantina was writing extensively about clubland. As was Tony Baloney. And the Voice in the 1980's gave us Gregg Tate.
Still in the 80's, Spin under Bob Guccione Junior was just the best. Bart Bull was one of the greatest critics of his generation.
The New York Times gave us the late swamp master Robert Palmer and currently, Jon Pareles. I love them both.
So where is Rolling Stone in all this? Wenner fired Paul Nelson so fuck him. Any way, many of these guys wrote for Stone at one point or another. I never thought they were that great at reviewing and I do think Matt Taibbi was much better at New York Press. Cameron Crowe was an OK writer but had zero taste in music. Today the magazine is fully colluded into the biz and their opinion is untrustworthy. I do love Neil Strauss' profiles. And though it hurts me to write it, Wenner's Lennon interview is classic and important.
This century found Pitchfork and the late lamented Blender. Blender was a sassy motherfucker and I loved it. Pitchfork is like that chick you meet on line who talks a good game but when you meet her in person, she has a nasty fucking attitude. Between them and Stone, they have killed off any cool in rock writing whatsoever. In the tabs? Jim Farber of the New York Daily News is a long term hero.
Who else? I love Village Voice music editor Rob Harvilla and wish he wrote much more.
Which leaves me where I started, right?
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