So last night Steve Diamond and I are killing time between sets and we can’t think of any rock music jokes. I remember God only thinks he’s Clapton. but that’s it. So I looked it up and got a version of one with Bono. It works better with Claption but because of all that “Clapton Is God” stuff but it’ll have to do…
“When Warren Zevon died, he was surprised to find himself in rock-n-roll heaven. St. Peter was showing him around, introducing him to all the departed rock stars. Visiting a fantastic music studio, he saw Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, John Bonham, Mama Cass, etc., etc.
Suddenly, with a flourish, Bono walked into the studio and joined in the jam.
Zevon gasped to St. Peter: ‘I didn’t know Bono died!’
‘Oh no,’ replied Peter ‘That’s God – he just THINKS he’s Bono.'”
I am not surprised to read rock jokes. Between the obsessiveness and the ego of music , it can of lends itself to deflation. These are from machinehead-software.com .
How do you get a rock guitar player to slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him!
How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know its about to happen, but you can’t do anything to prevent it.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can’t get up that high!
How do you prevent a trombone player from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
A String Quartet: Good violinist, bad violinist, ex violinist and someone who hates violins sitting around complaining about composers
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have machines to do that now!
Why are music critics hearts sought after for transplants? They’ve had so little use!
What will you find on a drummers music theory exam paper? Drool!
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer!
Whats the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine? You only punch the instructions into the machine once!
Why do rock bands need roadies? To act as interpreters for the drummer
How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb? one two! one two!
How many traditional folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Six… One to change the bulb, and five to complain that it is ELECTRIC and bitch about how much mellower a candle would be!
If you play country music backwards? You get your house back, your car back and your wife back!
Play the blues backwards? The wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of jail.
Play acid house backwards? more acid house!
Play jungle backwards? more jungle!
What happens when you combine diminished and augmented cords? You get demented cords!
What is the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathizers!
Whats the difference between a music producer and the IRA? You can negotiate with the IRA!
Whats the difference between music producer and God? God doesn’t think he’s a music producer!
What do you call a robot that composes musicals? Android Lloyd Webber!
There is a whole website of Michael Jackson jokes. Lotsa little boys jokes and fake nose jokes. here’s one:
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue
And some more jokes before we conclude this post. If You have any fave rock jokes please share…
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHIROPODIST AND KEITH MOON ?
A chiropodist bucks up your feet
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A DRUMMER IS AT THE DOOR ?
The knocking speeds up
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DRUMMER THAT BREAKS UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND ?
Homeless
WHATS THE LAST THING A DRUMMER EVER SAYS IN A BAND ?
“Hey guys … why dont we try one of my songs ?”
HOW MANY DRUMMERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB (I) ?
Just One, so long as the roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
HOW MANY DRUMMERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB (II) ?
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THERE IS A HEAVY ROCK SINGER AT THE DOOR ?
He doesn`t know when to come in, and can`t find the key.