Did I ever tell you about the time I met Andrew Cuomo in Queens? Cuiomo is our new governor. I could play it out but here’s the punchline: yuck.
So passing right along, we stole these tips for touring without a budget from the Guardian.
1) Pack light, but bring entertainment, as boredom is the true bane of touring. .
2) Use your phone wisely.
3) You’ll be living on your per diem (which is Latin for “per day”). Usually it’s just enough for a round of drinks or a meal. Choose wisely.
4) Greet the driver politely and then minimise all contact with him.
5) Don’t get left behind.
6) Dressing rooms are never secure, so hide anything you don’t want stolen.
7) Hotels. Choose up front how you are going to do this. Are you planning to have this be the most expensive hotel bill of all time, or are you not paying for anything?
8) What happens on the road never stays on the road.
9) Always be nice to the crew.
10) Don’t complain.
If you wanna know why these are the rules of the land… go here