Deep in some remote Nordic dungeon, an evil death metal warlock has dreamt up something we all thought and hoped to be impossible: a heavy metal cruise from Miami to Cozumel, Mexico. That’s right, an entire cruise ship filled with nothing but metal heads, forty bands, and twenty-four hour bars. Oh dear God.
Dubbed 70,000 Tons of Metal, this infernal cruise is scheduled to leave port on January 24th, 2011 and spend two days on the high seas before arriving in Mexico, where, no doubt, the metal heads will descend on the hapless beaches of Mexico in a fury of drunken metal-induced rage. I am confident that this will be the furthest south any Viking has ever ventured, and will certainly expose the passengers to more sun than they have ever been exposed to in their lives. The cruise returns to Miami on the 28th along with the sunburned, hungover passengers who didn’t miss the boat in Mexico.
Notable bands on the cruise include Amon Amarth, Ensiferum, Exodus, Fear Factory, Finntroll, Iced Earth, Moonspell, Saxon, Sonata Arctica, Testament, and Tyr. The cruise is limited to 2,000 people and the cruise’s website promises a backstage environment for the whole trip, with fans and bands comingling into the wee hours. If you’re thinking of going, which you should, tickets start at $666 dollars per person (of course).
http://www.70000tons.com/ for a great promo video and more info.
Don’t forget to pack sunscreen and battleaxe.